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In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? v.3

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? v. 3
With the revolution of modern architecture, the proliferation of skyscrapers is vastly outnumbered. Therefore, in several cosmopolitan areas, people prefer to live in flats rather than single houses. Such accommodation has its own merits and demerits, which will be elucidated in this essay. There are abundant of advantages that can be received from living in high-rises. Firstly, it requires less effort to maintain. Indeed, apartments essentially have supervisors and janitors to look after the basic chores of the building, and so it would be beneficial for working professionals who do not have time for such duties. To illustrate, nowadays, many individuals are moving to different cities for their living and visiting their hometown on weekends; hence, opting for a flat is an ideal choice for them. Furthermore, considering the over-population issue into account, owning a house is not suitable for a person as it could worsen the existing land demand. Thus, it provides various benefits for single workers. There are many downsides which people have to encounter in the multi-story apartments. It is irrefutably true that the stringent regulations of the high-rises would be unsuitable for some masses. Since an apartment is a communal place, there are strict rules which dwellers should have to follow. To exemplify, in India, almost all buildings have restrictions on smoking, pets and noise pollution. Besides this, it also creates privacy issue. Despite the upsides, privacy is always a concern when it comes to apartment blocks since they are close to each other and neighbours often know others confidential matters. In conclusion, this essay discussed both the benefits and drawbacks of residing in high-rises. I tend to reiterate that, despite having a few disadvantages, multi-story apartments are superior.
With the revolution of modern architecture, the proliferation of skyscrapers is
vastly
outnumbered.
Therefore
, in several cosmopolitan areas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in flats
rather
than single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
. Such accommodation has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and demerits, which will
be elucidated
in this essay.

There are abundant of advantages that can
be received
from living in high-rises.
Firstly
, it requires less effort to maintain.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
essentially
have supervisors and janitors to look after the basic chores of the building, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be beneficial for working professionals who do not have time for such duties. To illustrate, nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals are moving to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities for their living and visiting their hometown on weekends;
hence
, opting for a flat is an ideal choice for them.
Furthermore
, considering the over-population issue into account, owning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
is not suitable for a person as it could worsen the existing land demand.
Thus
, it provides various benefits for single workers.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
downsides which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
encounter in the multi-story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
. It is
irrefutably
true that the stringent regulations of the high-rises would be unsuitable for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses. Since an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
is a communal place, there are strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which dwellers should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
follow. To exemplify, in India, almost all buildings have restrictions on smoking, pets and noise pollution.
Besides
this, it
also
creates privacy issue. Despite the upsides, privacy is always a concern when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartment
blocks since they are close to each other and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
know others confidential matters.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed both the benefits and drawbacks of residing in high-rises. I tend to reiterate that, despite having a few disadvantages, multi-story
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
apartments
are superior.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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