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In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages. v.1

In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages. v. 1
Living in flats has become more common in urban areas. For many people, especially small families prefer to live in this system. However, there are pros and cons deciding to do this. In this essay I will discuss some of the reasons why living in multi story constructions are attractive and some of the challenges to be overcome. Further more, I give my opinion. Let's begin by looking at the advantages of flats. One of the main positives of this kind of residence is that it's affordable to the middle class. What I mean by this is that its under purchasing power of a layman. For instance, a person having moderate income can maintain his standard of living in this perspective. Secondly, It's made you more socialize. For example, you may meet many people daily because you live very close to each other. In addition, they are the first one who helps in any problem. Turning to the other side of the argument, this kind of residency breaks privacy. To be more precise, living close to each other, the neighbours know the other's family issues. This often leads hindrance in personal life. Another issue is that if any mishap or disaster happens, more people suffer. In other words, earthquake or fire breakout causes many victims. This process takes time and can be especially challenging if can not handle smartly. All things considered, multi storey accommodations are famous among people. You need to weigh up the pros that this kind of residence is economical plus supportive in term of any crises and the cons of this are breakage of privacy as well as a great loss in any accidental situation. Personally, I believe the benefits of the plaza are that it gives shelter to the ordinary peoples and a sense of relief, eventually outweigh the benefits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Living
in flats has become more common in urban areas. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
families prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this system.
However
, there are pros and cons deciding to do this. In this essay I will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in multi story constructions are attractive and
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
challenges to
be overcome
.
Further
more, I give my opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
by looking at the advantages of flats. One of the main positives of this kind of residence is that it's affordable to the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. What I mean by this is that its under purchasing power of a layman.
For instance
, a person having moderate income can maintain his standard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in this perspective.
Secondly
,

It's made you more socialize.
For example
, you may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
daily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
close to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
In addition
, they are the
first
one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in any problem.

Turning to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the argument, this kind of residency breaks privacy. To be more precise,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
close to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
know the other's family issues. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
leads hindrance in personal life. Another issue is that if any mishap or disaster happens, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, earthquake or fire breakout causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
victims. This process takes time and can be
especially
challenging if can not handle
smartly
.

All things considered,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
multi storey
accommodations are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. You need to weigh up the pros that this kind of residence is economical plus supportive in term of any crises and the cons of this are breakage of privacy
as well
as a great loss in any accidental situation.
Personally
, I believe the benefits of the plaza are that it gives shelter to the ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
and a sense of relief,
eventually
outweigh the benefits.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay In many cities, many people are living in large apartment blocks. Does this accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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