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In many cities crime is increasing Why do you think this is happening What can governments do to help reduce crime levels v.2

In many cities crime is increasing Why do you think this is happening What can governments do to help reduce crime levels v. 2
Nowadays, there are many people to research on crimes. All of which show a sharp increase in the number of crimes. I believe there is a reason for this and the government should have the necessary methods to decrease the crime levels. The primary reason why the number of crimes is more and more rising is the low standard of living. Recent years, there are differences between rich people and poor people. While the rich people live in penthouses, maisions; Drive modern cars and have high salary; The poor people are distinguised. They do not have opporunities to find jobs which are suitable with them. Hence, they feel bored and feel deep resentment against rich people. Thus, they can cause burglaries. Another reason is the lack of education. Teenagers, school drop outs and umemployment are main components which can become crimes. They have shortness of awarness in their actions. For example, a high school student easily change into robber because being affected by bad guys. Because of these reasons, the government needs to help reduce crime levels. Firstly, they can create more and more jobs for poor people. For instance, the government should give them community careers with a medium salary such as: labor, nanny, etc. Advancing awarness of people is another important method which the government need to wok. They ought to hold the campaigns to propagandize the penalty which people will be received when they sin. The government also needs focus on young people who have dropped out schools. These teenagers may become involved with gangs. To eliminate the number of crime, prison is the punishment should be used. If the crimes are more critical, death penalty is the best way to punish. To sum up, the impact of the growth of crime affect to everybody. So the government should effectuate necessary mothods to reduce them. Besides, eveyone have to clearly understand the law.
Nowadays, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. All of which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a sharp increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. I believe there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for this and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should have the necessary methods to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
levels.

The primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is more and more rising is the low standard of living. Recent years, there are differences between rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. While the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in penthouses,
Possible spelling mistake found.
maisions
; Drive modern cars and have high salary; The poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
distinguised
. They do not have
Possible spelling mistake found.
opporunities
to find jobs which are suitable with them.
Hence
, they feel bored and feel deep resentment against rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, they can cause burglaries. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the lack of education.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
, school
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
drop outs
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
umemployment
are main components which can become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. They have shortness of
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
in their actions.
For example
, a high school student
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into robber
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
guys.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
levels.
Firstly
, they can create more and more jobs for poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should give them community careers with a medium salary such as: labor, nanny, etc. Advancing
Possible spelling mistake found.
awarness
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
method which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need to wok. They ought to hold the campaigns to propagandize the penalty which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
be received
when they sin. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
needs focus on young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have dropped out schools. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may become involved with gangs. To eliminate the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, prison is the punishment should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are more critical, death penalty is the best way to punish.

To sum up, the impact of the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
affect to everybody.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should effectuate necessary
Possible spelling mistake found.
mothods
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
them.
Besides
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eveyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
clearly
understand the law.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities crime is increasing Why do you think this is happening What can governments do to help reduce crime levels v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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