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In many cities crime is increasing Why do you think this is happening What can governments do to help reduce crime levels v.2

In many cities crime is increasing Why do you think this is happening What can governments do to help reduce crime levels v. 2
Nowadays, there are many people to research on crimes. All of which show a sharp increase in the number of crimes. I believe there is a reason for this and the government should have the necessary methods to decrease the crime levels. The primary reason why the number of crimes is more and more rising is the low standard of living. Recent years, there are differences between rich people and poor people. While the rich people live in penthouses, maisions; Drive modern cars and have high salary; The poor people are distinguised. They do not have opporunities to find jobs which are suitable with them. Hence, they feel bored and feel deep resentment against rich people. Thus, they can cause burglaries. Another reason is the lack of education. Teenagers, school drop outs and umemployment are main components which can become crimes. They have shortness of awarness in their actions. For example, a high school student easily change into robber because being affected by bad guys. Because of these reasons, the government needs to help reduce crime levels. Firstly, they can create more and more jobs for poor people. For instance, the government should give them community careers with a medium salary such as: labor, nanny, etc. Advancing awarness of people is another important method which the government need to wok. They ought to hold the campaigns to propagandize the penalty which people will be received when they sin. The government also needs focus on young people who have dropped out schools. These teenagers may become involved with gangs. To eliminate the number of crime, prison is the punishment should be used. If the crimes are more critical, death penalty is the best way to punish. To sum up, the impact of the growth of crime affect to everybody. So the government should effectuate necessary mothods to reduce them. Besides, eveyone have to clearly understand the law.
Nowadays, there are
many
people
to research on
crimes
. All of which
show
a sharp increase in the number of
crimes
. I believe there is a
reason
for this and the
government
should have the necessary methods to decrease the
crime
levels.

The primary
reason
why the number of
crimes
is more and more rising is the low standard of living. Recent years, there are differences between rich
people
and poor
people
. While the rich
people
live
in penthouses,
maisions
; Drive modern cars and have high salary; The poor
people
are
distinguised
. They do not have
opporunities
to find jobs which are suitable with them.
Hence
, they feel bored and feel deep resentment against rich
people
.
Thus
, they can cause burglaries. Another
reason
is the lack of education.
Teenagers
, school
drop outs
and
umemployment
are main components which can become
crimes
. They have shortness of
awarness
in their actions.
For example
, a high school student
easily
change
into robber
because
being
affected
by
bad
guys.

Because
of these
reasons
, the
government
needs to
help
reduce
crime
levels.
Firstly
, they can create more and more jobs for poor
people
.
For instance
, the
government
should give them community careers with a medium salary such as: labor, nanny, etc. Advancing
awarness
of
people
is another
important
method which the
government
need to wok. They ought to hold the campaigns to propagandize the penalty which
people
will
be received
when they sin. The
government
also
needs focus on young
people
who have dropped out schools. These
teenagers
may become involved with gangs. To eliminate the number of
crime
, prison is the punishment should be
used
. If the
crimes
are more critical, death penalty is the best way to punish.

To sum up, the impact of the growth of
crime
affect to everybody.
So
the
government
should effectuate necessary
mothods
to
reduce
them.
Besides
,
eveyone
have to
clearly
understand the law.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In many cities crime is increasing Why do you think this is happening What can governments do to help reduce crime levels v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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