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An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v.4

An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 4
"Change is the essence of the life ". I feel that in today's competitive world, one should be professional in multidisciplinary fields to survive. As what author mentioned that the increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives, is correct and is a positive thing as far as I am concerned. Below I will justify why I say that it is a positive development. Firstly, I think that it is a critical thing to change career and place from one to another because it requires a lot of potential and adaptability to do this. This happens when a crisis occurs in any particular field then a lot of people lose their jobs and positions of those people become chaotic. So in that situation, if a person has knowledge in some other fields, then he can actually sustain. One such instance was, my uncle Jim who was working as a JAVA developer in a software company, during that time his field had an economic crisis and lots of people have lost their jobs. Then he was also a professional in teaching, so he joined as a professor and taught lessons to the students. He changed his career and was stable enough in life. Secondly, I even support changes the living places because one likes to move to the place where he gets good salary in his profession. Most of the people migrate from place to another in search of jobs also and the best facilities to live a comfortable life. These days it is becoming quite a common that people move from one place to another. This not only fetches good propensities but also come across different culture and lifestyle. This could happen even because of some discrimination in that place so that a person moves away to get opportunities to live happily. One such example was: a person called Mark who was living in a village had to leave his home in search of a job in the city as he was a computer science engineer. He never had a chance to do a job in his village, as no company existed in that town. Now he is an executive engineering and earning a very good ransom of salary and has all facilities with him. So I would like to conclude by saying that it is always a positive point to change career when the situation demands it and is also a good move to change the living places. One will be satisfied when his work is appreciated and gets a good salary, so in search of this one can definitely change his or her career or place but not in every instance.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
is the essence of the life
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
. I feel that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's competitive world, one should be professional in multidisciplinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
to survive. As what author mentioned that the increased number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, is correct and is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thing as far as I
am concerned
. Below I will justify why I say that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a critical thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
from one to another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it requires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
potential and adaptability to do this. This happens when a crisis occurs in any particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and positions of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become chaotic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in that situation, if a person has knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
, then he can actually sustain. One such instance was, my uncle Jim who was working as a JAVA developer in a software
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, during that time his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
had an economic crisis and lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Then he was
also
a professional in teaching,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
as a professor and taught lessons to the students. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
and was stable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in life.

Secondly
, I even support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one likes to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
salary in his profession. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
also
and the best facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a comfortable life. These days it is becoming quite a common that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to another. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fetches
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
propensities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
culture and lifestyle. This could happen even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
discrimination in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
moves
away to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
. One such example was: a person called Mark who was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in a village had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
his home in search of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the city as he was a computer science engineer. He never had a chance to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in his village, as no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
existed in that town.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he is an executive engineering and earning a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
ransom of salary and has all facilities with him.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I would like
to conclude
by saying that it is always a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
point to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
when the situation demands it and is
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. One will
be satisfied
when his work
is appreciated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in search of this one can definitely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not in every instance.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
49Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay An increased number of people today change their career and living places in their lives. Is it a positive or negative development? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
449 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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