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In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard? v.8

In the areas of education and employment several individuals work more diligently than others do. There are several factors that can aid to explain why some people work harder. In my opinion, working hard is not always beneficial. Why do several people work harder? One of the reasons might be that a person wishes to set a good precedent that other people will follow. By working hard, an individual may aim to influence society in a positive way. For example, if a father puts in a lot of work and dedication into his field of work, he is likely to set an example which his children will follow. This will make the society better. Another factor that pushes people towards working harder is an aspiration for personal development. Working hard involves challenges that help people develop and become better versions of themselves. Thus, the motivation for becoming a better person every day is the main driving force behind hard work. From my point of view, it is not always necessary to go the extra mile. There is a number of reasons explaining it: Firstly, working hard is harmful for one’s health. If one works hard, he or she will not manage to eat, sleep and exercise properly. These are the three main components of health and if they are not fulfilled, one’s well-being suffers. Secondly, one’s creativity is damaged due to constant hard work. When one works hard, no time is left for hobbies and social life. Therefore, the mind dries up and it becomes difficult to come up with new ideas. In conclusion, while there are several important reasons why some people work harder than others do, in my opinion, working hard is not always beneficial
In the areas of education and employment several individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
diligently
than others do. There are several factors that can aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is not always beneficial.

Why do several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
? One of the reasons might be that a person wishes to set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
precedent that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will follow. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, an individual may aim to influence society in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way.
For example
, if a father puts in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and dedication into his field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, he is likely to set an example which his children will follow. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the society better. Another factor that pushes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
is an aspiration for personal development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
involves challenges that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop and become better versions of themselves.
Thus
, the motivation for becoming a better person every day is the main driving force behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
work.

From my point of view, it is not always necessary to go the extra mile. There is a number of reasons explaining it:
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is harmful for one’s health. If one works
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, he or she will not manage to eat, sleep and exercise
properly
. These are the three main components of health and if they are not fulfilled, one’s well-being suffers.
Secondly
, one’s creativity
is damaged
due to constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. When one works
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
, no time is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for hobbies and social life.
Therefore
, the mind dries
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
up and
it becomes difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

In conclusion
, while there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
harder
than others do, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
is not always beneficial
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The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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