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In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.8

In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. v. 8
It is an indisputable fact that a proper education is still out of reach for youngster born in rural parts of developing nations. With the concern being expressed over whether to build more schools and sending more teachers or the provision of computers and Internet access is the best way to tackle this problem, there emerged two opposing groups. In my opinion, the former concept seems more feasible. On the one hand, it is believed that mastering the computer use allows children from remote areas to compete against other candidates in the race for decent future jobs. That is mainly because modern jobs will require employees to be familiar with at least some computer applications so as to boost their productivity at work. For example, a recent research revealed that people who have a fundamental knowledge of computers are twice more likely to get a rewarding job than those who does not. Even though teachers may improve the situation, there is no guarantee that all of them are adequate as well as intelligent. Moreover, youth can self-study at home without having to go to class or being completely dependent on teachers, spending time more efficiently. Thus, it goes without saying that technology is the best method to tackle this problem. On the other hand, it is understandable why some people consider that teachers and schools are key elements in proper education. Firstly, schools function as meeting places for students. In this way, students have the opportunity to learn the importance of collaborating and socializing with other people. Even if with the assistance of technology children can self-study, students in remote areas are highly unlikely to learn by themselves effectively without the supervision of tutors. For example, teachers can acknowledge these students’ deficiencies and help them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving suitable exercises or even tutoring them privately. Furthermore, it is the trust and bond between teachers and learners that creates the learning environment while virtual learning simply cannot do that. Therefore, needless to say that tutors and schools are a key element in solving this problem. In conclusion, although technology has helped several children to progress more rapidly every now and then, I opine that teachers still play an irreplaceable role in the education process.
It is an indisputable fact that a proper education is
still
out of reach for youngster born in rural parts of developing nations. With the concern
being expressed
over whether to build more
schools
and sending more
teachers
or the provision of computers and Internet access is the best way to tackle this problem, there emerged two opposing groups. In my opinion, the former concept seems more feasible.

On the one hand, it
is believed
that mastering the computer
use
allows
children from remote areas to compete against other candidates in the race for decent future jobs.
That is
mainly
because
modern jobs will require employees to be familiar with at least
some
computer applications
so as to
boost their productivity at work.
For example
, a recent research revealed that
people
who have a fundamental knowledge of computers are twice more likely to
get
a rewarding job than those who does not.
Even though
teachers
may
improve
the situation, there is no guarantee that all of them are adequate
as well
as intelligent.
Moreover
, youth can self-study at home without having to go to
class
or being completely dependent on
teachers
, spending time more
efficiently
.
Thus
, it goes without saying that technology is the best method to tackle this problem.

On the other hand
, it is understandable why
some
people
consider that
teachers
and
schools
are key elements in proper education.
Firstly
,
schools
function as meeting places for
students
. In this way,
students
have the opportunity to learn the importance of collaborating and socializing with other
people
. Even if with the assistance of technology children can self-study,
students
in remote areas are
highly
unlikely to learn by themselves
effectively
without the supervision of tutors.
For example
,
teachers
can acknowledge these
students’
deficiencies and
help
them to solve their problems by repeating the same explanation, giving suitable exercises or even tutoring them
privately
.
Furthermore
, it is the trust and bond between
teachers
and learners that creates the learning environment while virtual learning
simply
cannot do that.
Therefore
, needless to say that tutors and
schools
are a key element in solving this problem.

In conclusion
, although technology has
helped
several children to progress more
rapidly
every
now
and then, I opine that
teachers
still
play an irreplaceable role in the education process.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In developing countries, children in rural communities have less access to education. Some people believe that the problem can be solved by providing more schools and teachers, while others think that the problem can be solved by providing computers and Internet access. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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