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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v.18

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 18
An old age brings its own set of challenges in life. In many countries such as Britain, old people prefer to live in the old-age homes where they can get proper medical facilities. Some people argue that family members of these elderly people should incur all the expenses for their stay. However, in my opinion, the government should pay for this care. This essay will further elaborate on my viewpoint with relevant examples. The first and foremost reason why the government should take up the responsibility of senior citizens is that these people have paid taxes to the government for their entire life. In other words, older people have adhered to protocols and the taxation system of bureaucrats for so long. Now in this difficult situation of life, it is a moral responsibility of law enforcing agencies to support them. For example, a recent research conducted by the students of the University of Michigan discovered that a salaried person on average pays 50 percent of his income in form of direct or indirect taxes to the government. Thus, policy maker should step up and help elderly people in their hour of need. On the other hand, some people think that it is the obligation of the family to pay for the care of their senior members. Many families may be able to afford it, but they are not considering the poorer section of the society, those who struggles for basic living. They are clearly being selfish, and are ignoring the overall impact on the poorer families. To conclude, although few rich families can afford this expenditure, a major section of the society would not be able to pay for the care of old people. Governments should take up the entire responsibility to take care of the older population by paying for their old-age home expenses and by allocating funds for their medical care.
An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age brings its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set of challenges in life. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries such as Britain,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age homes where they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper medical facilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members of these elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should incur all the expenses for their stay.
However
, in my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
. This essay will
further
elaborate on my viewpoint with relevant examples.

The
first
and foremost reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take up the responsibility of senior citizens is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have paid taxes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
for their entire life.
In other words
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have adhered to protocols and the taxation system of bureaucrats for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
long.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
in this difficult situation of life, it is a moral responsibility of law enforcing agencies to support them.
For example
, a recent research conducted by the students of the University of Michigan discovered that a salaried person on average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pays
50 percent of his income in form of direct or indirect taxes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
Thus
,
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
policy maker
should step up and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their hour of need.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the obligation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their senior members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
may be able to afford it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are not considering the poorer section of the society, those who struggles for basic living. They are
clearly
being selfish, and are ignoring the
overall
impact on the poorer families.

To conclude
, although few rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
can afford this expenditure, a major section of the society would not be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should take up the entire responsibility to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the older population by paying for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-age home expenses and by allocating funds for their medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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