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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.17

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 17
Old people who used to live in Britain often sent to a home for the aged where there are medical staffs like nurses who provide proper care for them. There is still no agreement between the government and families of aging patients whether who should pay for the expenses for this kind of care. But for me, the family should take the responsibility of the payments. As a Filipino citizen, we are not used to sending our old relatives to nursing homes. Filipino’s are very family oriented. We are cultured to take care of our family members when they get older, most especially if it is our parents. As much as possible, we took care of them in our home. So all the expenses are being shouldered by the family members. And it not considered as a burden, since Filipinos are used to this kind of family culture. The government has its responsibility too to its people. For instance, if the family does not have the capacity to pay for the expenses. The governing body should help the family as much as they can, like giving cash assistance and allowances for older people and building homes for the abandoned aged patients. The government should be a great support system for those family who does not have the capacity to provide the best optimum care for their older family members. I believed that family is our home. Being cared of by our loved ones would be the best gift that we can receive. Being ready for this kind of situations is the best plan and investment that we should consider. Investing for our retirement plan and insuring our needs in the future would be a great help not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Britain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to a home for the aged where there are medical staffs like nurses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
provide proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for them. There is
still
no agreement between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
of aging patients whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
should pay for the expenses for this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for me, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should take the responsibility of the payments.

As a Filipino citizen, we are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sending our
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
relatives to nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Filipino’s are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
oriented. We
are cultured
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older, most
especially
if it is our parents. As much as possible, we took
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of them in our home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
all the expenses are
being shouldered
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members. And it not considered as a burden, since Filipinos are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
culture.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has its responsibility too to its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
does not have the capacity to pay for the expenses. The governing body should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as much as they can, like giving cash assistance and allowances for older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
for the abandoned aged patients. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be a great support system for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
does not have the capacity to provide the best optimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for their older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

I believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is our home.
Being cared
of by our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones would be the best gift that we can receive. Being ready for this kind of situations is the best plan and investment that we should consider. Investing for our retirement plan and insuring our needs in the future would be a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for ourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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