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In a number of countries, some people thinks it’s necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

In a number of countries, some people thinks it’s necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 1
The question of where governments should invest money to improve transportation is a controversial topic in some countries. I will discuss both sides of public opinion to constructing new high-speed train's railways or developing existing public transport. Firstly, I will discuss why people think that fund should be spent on high-speed railway systems and secondly I will explore the benefits of improving public transport. , On the one hand, many people claim that governments had better spend a lot of money to build new railways for fast trains due to needing speedy intercity transportation. High-speed railway systems among the cities can help improve undeveloped areas. For example, with more high-speed train, transport from rural cities to urban ones can be made easier and transportation expenses might be reduced. Another reason people think like that is to compare to other types of transports, railway systems more durable. It is easy to say no vehicle is as long-lasting as train. Besides, railroads do not need to be spent much more money for maintenance. On the other hand, some people want the government to have investments to improve daily public transportation to make an easier city life. Spending money on public transport can increase of bus or subway's frequency and therefore people commute easily. Furthermore, it might help people who live in suburban areas socialize and travel between downtown and the city centre. For instance, due to population, city centres have many more theatres and audiences who live in suburban have difficulties to watch plays and socialize other people. To sum up, there are a lot of options for governments to improve transportation system intracity or intercity. In my opinion, I feel very strongly about to invest in high-speed railroad systems and governments should make their priority to spend public resources prudentially.
The question of where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should invest
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money
to
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improve
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transportation
is a controversial topic in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. I will discuss both sides of
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public
opinion to constructing new
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high-speed
train's
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railways
or developing existing
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
Firstly
, I will discuss why
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that fund should
be spent
on
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high-speed
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railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
and
secondly
I will explore the benefits of improving
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,


On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
claim that
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governments
had better spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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money
to build new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
trains due to needing speedy intercity
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transportation
.
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High-speed
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railway
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systems
among the
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cities
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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improve
undeveloped areas.
For example
, with more
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high-speed
train,
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transport
from rural
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cities
to urban ones can
be made
easier and
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transportation
expenses might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. Another reason
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
like
that is
to compare to other types of
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transports
,
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railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
more durable. It is easy to say no vehicle is as long-lasting as train.
Besides
, railroads do not need to
be spent
much more
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money
for maintenance.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want the
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government
to have investments to
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improve
daily
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public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an easier city life. Spending
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money
on
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public
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transport
can increase of bus or subway's frequency and
therefore
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people
commute
easily
.
Furthermore
, it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
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people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in suburban areas socialize and travel between downtown and the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
.
For instance
, due to population, city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and audiences who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in suburban have difficulties to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
plays and socialize other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options for
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governments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
Possible spelling mistake found.
intracity
or intercity. In my opinion, I feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strongly
about to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high-speed
railroad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their priority to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
resources
prudentially
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people thinks it’s necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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