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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.41

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 41
Certain people consider spending huge amount of money on the building intercity railway path for high speed trains, while others think to spend capital on enhancing current transportation system, in many countries. In my opinion, I believe that cities need to be upgraded on current public transport. This essay will discuss both the views and my opinion, followed by reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, in the contemporary world, with the improvements in technology, people always prefer to commute in vehicles that take less time rather than spending the most in travelling. Also, improving conveyance between cities would last for decades. For example, In India, over the past 10 years, there are manifold improvements like high speed trains for intercity commutation between Vijayawada and Hyderabad which takes nearly 4 hours to reach the destination now rather than 8 hours, earlier. As a result, people are able to complete their tasks sooner, which would ultimately save their day. On the other hand, improving the current road and railway system would benefit to a greater extent because people always travel between cities for various purposes. As many people cannot afford to travel in aeroplanes or high speed trains, it is necessary to improve public transportation which would save their time and money. For instance, In India, nearly 30 years ago, it is always a nightmare for the people to travel between cities and many people walk for miles to attend school because of lack of means of transport which has been enhanced with numerous buses and frequency of trains which provided better lives. Hence, with good public transportation, people get benefitted. To conclude, though there can be very fast trains but many people always consider travelling on public transport because it is safer and budget friendly. Consequently, improving public transport would benefit future generations better.
Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider spending huge amount of money on the building intercity railway path for high speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
to spend capital on enhancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
transportation system, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
need to
be upgraded
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. This essay will discuss both the views and my opinion, followed by reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand, in the contemporary world, with the improvements in technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always prefer to commute in vehicles that take less time
rather
than spending the most in travelling.
Also
, improving conveyance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
would last for decades.
For example
, In India, over the past 10 years, there are manifold improvements like high speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
for intercity commutation between Vijayawada and Hyderabad which takes
nearly
4 hours to reach the destination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rather
than 8 hours, earlier.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to complete their tasks sooner, which would
ultimately
save their day.

On the other hand
, improving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
road and railway system would benefit to a greater extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always travel between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for various purposes. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot afford to travel in
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplanes' is British English.
aeroplanes
or high speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
, it is necessary to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation which would save their time and money.
For instance
, In India,
nearly
30 years ago, it is always a nightmare for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
walk for miles to attend school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
which has
been enhanced
with numerous buses and frequency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
which provided better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Hence
, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
.

To conclude
, though there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always consider travelling on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is safer and budget friendly.
Consequently
, improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
would benefit future generations better.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 41

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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