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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.38

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. 38
In many countries nowadays, people argue about the importance of the expenditure on current public transport and new railway lines for high-speed trains. From my point of view, governments should invest in the former rather than the latter. Firstly, spending money on innovating public conveyor could be deemed a method to decrease air pollution and save fossil fuel. When buses are improved, they could carry more commuters for routine travel, which indicates that the number of people choosing such transportations as the main means of travelling will take off. Accordingly, exhaust emission from private vehicles will be under control and people could set aside a great deal of fuel. Besides, if the number of private vehicles such as cars and motorbikes drops off, there will no massive traffic jam. This is deduced that renovating public transport is predicted to tackle traffic problems. In comparisons with public transport innovation, constructing new railways for modern trains has its pros and cons. On the one hand, people in favour of trains suppose that this kind of transportation gives them novel feelings and it is more affordable than planes or ships. For instance, people have to pay roughly 30 dollars to have a train journey from Hanoi to Ho Chi Minh city, whilst the figure for planes is nearly 100. On the other hand, since railways and trains are truly complicated and require high technology, building new ones will cost governments. When the governments’ revenue is insufficient, they will have to impose heavy taxes to civilians. In this case, people will have to carry new financial burdens instead of gaining benefits from these trains. In conclusion, I believe that it is more worthy for authorities to spend money on existing public carriage than high-speed railway projects because of reasons mentioned above.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue about the importance of the expenditure on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
lines for high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
. From my point of view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should invest in the former
rather
than the latter.

Firstly
, spending money on innovating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
conveyor could
be deemed
a method to decrease air pollution and save fossil fuel. When buses are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, they could carry more commuters for routine travel, which indicates that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choosing such transportations as the main means of travelling will take off.
Accordingly
, exhaust emission from private vehicles will be under control and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could set aside a great deal of fuel.
Besides
, if the number of private vehicles such as cars and motorbikes drops off, there will no massive traffic jam. This
is deduced
that renovating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport
is predicted
to tackle traffic problems.

In comparisons with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport innovation, constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
for modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
has its pros and cons. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
suppose that this kind of transportation gives them novel feelings and it is more affordable than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
or ships.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay roughly 30 dollars to have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
journey from Hanoi to
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
, whilst the figure for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
is
nearly
100.
On the other hand
, since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are
truly
complicated and require high technology, building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ones will cost
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
. When the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
’ revenue is insufficient, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
impose heavy taxes to civilians.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
financial burdens
instead
of gaining benefits from these trains.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is more worthy for authorities to spend money on existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
carriage than high-speed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
projects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of reasons mentioned above.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. 38

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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