Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.36

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 36
In many countries, the train is an important mode of transport. While some people feel that the government should provide funds to build new railway lines to connect many cities, other people argue that the money should instead be spent on the improvement of the current public transport. There are valid views on both sides, which I will discuss now. On the one hand, in view of making many parts of the world accessible easily, introducing fast trains and new railway lines is a major step. By investing in this project, the country’s economy will eventually be boosted because of the increased number of tourists arriving. For example, with the advent of ‘Train à Grande Vitesse’ in the late nineties in France, numerous destinations such as Belgium, Germany and the UK became within reach of many people and around 110 million of passengers make use of these trains annually. Moreover, compared to planes, trains are a more convenient form of transport because there are less hassles before boarding. As regards to the cost, it might also be more affordable than airline tickets. On the other hand, investing money to ameliorate the existing public transport could be a smart choice. Nowadays, with advances in technology, there are new buses in some countries with many features such as wifi, air conditioning and a TV. These should be introduced in nations which have not yet received them. Furthermore, in some countries such as in Mauritius, there is a lack of bus coverage in many localities, and this can be a problem for the locals since they will have to take two or three modes of transport before reaching their destination. Therefore, extending the bus coverage could be wise. A further improvement would be to make public transports friendly for individuals with physical disabilities so as to ensure that they do not feel left out. In conclusion, I personally believe that the government can invest in extending railway lines to major cities to boost the economy, but this should be done smoothly and gradually, provided that current public transport is well maintained throughout the country and not left in a bad state.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide funds to build new railway lines to connect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the money should
instead
be spent
on the improvement of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
. There are valid views on both sides, which I will discuss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand, in view of making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world accessible
easily
, introducing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
and new railway lines is a major step. By investing in this project, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy will
eventually
be boosted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increased number of tourists arriving.
For example
, with the advent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
‘Train
à Grande
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vitesse
’ in the late nineties in France, numerous destinations such as Belgium, Germany and the UK became within reach of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and around 110 million of passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
annually
.
Moreover
, compared to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are a more convenient form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun hassles is countable.
less
hassles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
boarding. As regards to the cost, it might
also
be more affordable than airline tickets.

On the other hand
, investing money to ameliorate the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
could be a smart choice. Nowadays, with advances in technology, there are new buses in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
features such as
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
wifi
, air conditioning and a TV. These should
be introduced
in nations which have not
yet
received them.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as in Mauritius, there is
Possible agreement error. The noun bus seems to be countable; consider using: "a lack of buses", "a lack of busses".
a lack of bus
coverage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
localities, and this can be a problem for the locals since they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take two or three modes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching their destination.
Therefore
, extending the bus coverage could be wise. A
further
improvement would be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
friendly for individuals with physical disabilities
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
ensure that they do not feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out.

In conclusion
, I
personally
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can invest in extending railway lines to major cities to boost the economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this should
be done
smoothly
and
gradually
, provided that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is well maintained throughout the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
state.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 36

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts