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In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.24

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 24
Many people believe that govenments should spend large amount of money on the construction of high-speed railway lines between cities. However, there are some people claim that it would be better to spend money on improving existing public transprot. While I tend to agree more with the first notion, I realise that there are other aspects to consider. Both points will be discussed in this essay. On the one hand, there are various reasons to explain why it is necessary to spend a lot of money on constructing new railway. The most important one is the improvement of around country. More facilities such as shops will be built around the areas which constructing new rail. Due to new railways, many investors are interested to open the business there. This bring about an increase in economic growth. Another reason is that it make new choices for people to travel. Commuters, for instance, gain an advatages because they can travel to work quickly and easily. As a result, some people do not need to rent a house or condo near their offices because they can use hi-speed train. On the other hand, spending money on improving current public transport also has benefits to the community. For one thing, people will recive a advance system and service. The easiest way for producers to raise the transport is improve the system and service to make people satisfied. One example for this is in China, there is a project to transform the service, costumers are able to enter the train by using face which is more convenience than use a member cards. Technological innovations is another positive effect. If governments invest money on upgrade actual transport, it becomes more modern and it sometimes reduces costs and time. For example, in Italy, the train able to run at 180 km/hr whereas it use 360 km/hr in this day and age. In conclusion, transportation is the part of people's life. Therefore, government and authority should arrange the money on both new railroads and current public transport effectively to satisfy their needs equally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
govenments
should spend large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on the construction of high-speed railway lines between cities.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it would be better to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on improving existing public
Possible spelling mistake found.
transprot
. While I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
more with the
first
notion, I
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that there are other aspects to consider. Both points will
be discussed
in this essay.

On the one hand, there are various reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why it is necessary to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railway. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one is the improvement of around country. More facilities such as shops will
be built
around the areas which constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
rail. Due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
investors
are interested
to open the business there.
The verb 'bring' is plural. Did you mean: "This brings"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This bring
about an increase in economic growth. Another reason is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
choices for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel. Commuters,
for instance
, gain an
Possible spelling mistake found.
advatages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can travel to work
quickly
and
easily
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not need to rent a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
or condo near their offices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
hi-speed train.

On the other hand
, spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
also
has benefits to the community. For one thing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
Possible spelling mistake found.
recive
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
advance system and service. The easiest way for producers to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is 
Consider using a past participle here: "improved".
improve
the system and service to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
satisfied. One example for this is in China, there is a project to transform the service, costumers are able to enter the train by using face which is more convenience than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a member cards. Technological innovations is another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on upgrade actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, it becomes more modern and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
costs and time.
For example
, in Italy, the train able to run at 180 km/hr whereas it
Did you mean "uses"?
use
360 km/hr in this day and age.

In conclusion
, transportation is the part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and authority should arrange the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
railroads and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
effectively
to satisfy their needs
equally
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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