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in a number of countries, some people think it is more necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport v.1

in a number of countries, some people think it is more necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport v. 1
These days, everyone is running behind to maintain the social status in a society. As we heard that the person’s first impression is the last impression. So, in today’s essay, I will be going to discuss on the topic whether an individual is judged according to material possession. Moreover, it seems old values such as trust and kindness, no longer is important. There is no doubt that the respect against the rich people has increased. The more you earn, the more you will be respected. New generation appears to be much involved in the social media and distinguish an individual based on an attire. They think that if the human being have a good dressing sense, it means that guy is good enough to be in the community. They don’t bother about the ethics and values a human have. For instance, take an example of Facebook or Instagram, the biggest social websites. These websites came up with an idea to keep the friend’s in contact. But what we have seen is here, people are judging each other on the basis of materialistic things. There is no importance of the person kindness or faith. Although traditional values such as respect others, honesty, being responsible seem to be forgotten nowadays, but still it plays a vital role in many of the communities. Still, many business people are looking for the partners whom they can trust and depend. Therefore, it is important for the parents educate their children about the positive values as they still are an important part of the life. In conclusion, even though people are judged on the basis of social status, but I do believe that old-fashioned values cannot be eliminated from our daily lives. Therefore, we should teach youngsters about these cultures, in order for them to survive and succeed.
These days, everyone is running behind to maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status in a society.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we heard that the person’s
first
impression is the last impression.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s essay, I will be going to discuss on the topic whether an individual
is judged
according to material possession.
Moreover
, it seems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
values such as trust and kindness, no longer is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

There is no doubt that the respect against the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
increased. The more you earn, the more you will
be respected
. New generation appears to be much involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media and distinguish an individual based on an attire. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that if the human being have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
dressing sense, it means that guy is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be in the community. They don’t bother about the ethics and values a human have.
For instance
, take an example of Facebook or Instagram, the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites. These websites came up with an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the friend’s in contact.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
is here,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are judging each other on the basis of materialistic things. There is no importance of the person kindness or faith.

Although traditional values such as respect others, honesty, being responsible seem to
be forgotten
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
it plays a vital role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the communities.
Still
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are looking for the partners whom they can trust and depend.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the parents educate their children about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
values as they
still
are an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the life.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are judged
on the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
status,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned values cannot
be eliminated
from our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Therefore
, we should teach youngsters about these cultures, in order for them to survive and succeed.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay in a number of countries, some people think it is more necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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