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In a cashless society, people use more credit cards. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? v.2

In a cashless society, people use more credit cards. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? v. 2
Recently, the phenomenon of cashless society and its corresponding impact has sparked a heated debate. Although contested by many that the matter of electronic cards is highly beneficial, such issue is regarded thoroughly both constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. I am inclined to believe that the debit card can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay. From a social standpoint, cardless society and a credit card can provide the society with some noticeable effects which are rooted in the fact that merits of identity theft, as well as a cash payment, are inextricably bound up. According to my own experience, when I was a university student, I performed an academic experiment which discovered cardless society. Thus, beneficial ramifications of online payment apparently can be seen. Within the realm of science, card-less society and credit card might increase the consequences of computer' s criminals. Moreover, fundamental aspects of credit-card fraud would relate to this reality that the demerits of plastic card pertain to online- banking system. As a tangible example, some scientific research undertaken by a prestigious university has asserted that the downside of a healthy bank balance is correlated negatively with a check card. Hence, it is correct to presume the preconceived notion of electronic banking. To conclude, while there are compelling arguments on both sides, I profoundly believe that the benefits of credit card and cashless society far outweigh its demerits. Not only do the advantages of payment service prove the significance of a cashless pay system, but also pinpoint cardless society implications.
Recently, the phenomenon of cashless
society
and its corresponding impact has sparked a heated debate. Although contested by
many
that the matter of electronic
cards
is
highly
beneficial, such issue
is regarded
thoroughly
both constructive and
positive
by a substantial number of individuals. I
am inclined
to believe that the debit
card
can be a plus, and I will analyze that throughout this essay.

From a social standpoint,
cardless
society
and a credit
card
can provide the
society
with
some
noticeable effects which
are rooted
in the fact that merits of identity theft,
as well
as a cash payment, are
inextricably
bound up. According to my
own
experience, when I was a university student, I performed an academic experiment which discovered
cardless
society
.
Thus
, beneficial ramifications of online payment
apparently
can be
seen
.

Within the realm of science, card-less
society
and credit
card
might increase the consequences of
computer&
#039; s criminals.
Moreover
, fundamental aspects of credit-card fraud would relate to this reality that the demerits of plastic
card
pertain to online- banking system. As a tangible example,
some
scientific research undertaken by a prestigious university has asserted that the downside of a healthy bank balance
is correlated
negatively
with a
check
card
.
Hence
, it is correct to presume the preconceived notion of electronic banking.

To conclude
, while there are compelling arguments on both sides, I
profoundly
believe that the benefits of credit
card
and cashless
society
far outweigh its demerits. Not
only
do the advantages of payment service prove the significance of a cashless pay system,
but
also
pinpoint
cardless
society
implications.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In a cashless society, people use more credit cards. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this phenomenon? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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