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Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.13

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 13
In the recent few decades, the rich are becoming richer and the poor are becoming even poorer and to end this common wealth country play a key role. Some believe that sharing wealth for the development of poor countries is regarded as the best option. On the other hand, others argue that wealth should not be wasted for the benefit of other nations. In my view, rich countries should share their resources to develop underdeveloped countries. Firstly, sharing is caring and we live in a civilized world and helping each other will increase humanity and good relations; however, developed countries can afford to share some spare amounts through donations and volunteer works. For instance, a recent report explains that donations from rich countries aid poor countries to improve their living standards. Needless to say, sharing wealth or lending money for lower interest rate can help more countries to catch up with neighbours. Secondly, another pivotal aspect is that the public administrations can establish more public or private organizations to gather volunteers for social service. Moreover, educating people and teaching them essential trading skills will increase revenue and help the country's economy. For example, Oxfam organization collects funds from different organizations and run trade schools to increase business skills. Hence, both public and private service sectors can help the increase in business standards. In conclusion, common wealth countries can help the poor people by running free schools and skills assessment for better trading. Similarly, by lending money for less interest can help poor countries cope with others.
In the recent few decades, the rich are becoming richer and the
poor
are becoming even poorer and to
end
this common
wealth
country
play a key role.
Some
believe that sharing
wealth
for the development of
poor
countries
is regarded
as the best option. On the
other
hand, others argue that
wealth
should not
be wasted
for the benefit of
other
nations. In my view, rich
countries
should share their resources to develop underdeveloped countries.

Firstly
, sharing is
caring and
we
live
in a civilized world and helping each
other
will
increase
humanity and
good
relations;
however
, developed
countries
can afford to share
some
spare amounts through donations and volunteer works.
For instance
, a recent report
explains
that donations from rich
countries
aid
poor
countries
to
improve
their living standards. Needless to say, sharing
wealth
or lending money for lower interest rate can
help
more
countries
to catch up with
neighbours
.

Secondly
, another pivotal aspect is that the public administrations can establish more public or private organizations to gather volunteers for social service.
Moreover
, educating
people
and teaching them essential trading
skills
will
increase
revenue and
help
the country's economy.
For example
,
Oxfam
organization collects funds from
different
organizations and run trade schools to
increase
business
skills
.
Hence
, both public and private service sectors can
help
the
increase
in business standards.

In conclusion
, common
wealth
countries
can
help
the
poor
people
by running free schools and
skills
assessment for better trading.
Similarly
, by lending money for less interest can
help
poor
countries
cope with others.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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