Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.10

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 10
Many experts in bilateral issues believe that due to major issues of health, education and trade, some poor nations are suffering enormously. It is my firm belief that Developed nations should contribute their part in solving these major challenges of the world. In this essay, I will elaborate my opinion with appropriate evidences. Every human being on this planet is associated and contributes to each other in spite of geographical locations. Since, economies of affluent nations are moreover dependent on developing or poor nations. Admittedly, population of poor countries like Africa for instance is, blessing in disguise. The manpower is available in a substantial amount, who can contribute to the outsourcing in the technology sector in Europe and North American geographies, where good communications is highly demanded which, otherwise is hard to be managed by these rich nations at a reasonable cost. As a result, their economies grow at a much faster pace. Secondly, it takes a little effort from both sides but can eventually change their destiny. Since, many underdeveloped nations have a lack of advancement in educational resources, but has enormous potential to be grown many skilled professionals, who can contribute to the economies where manpower is a big challenge owing to ageing populations. So, it is a win win situation for both. Moreover, from a humanitarian aspect, if wealthy nations can inculcate little knowledge and wisdom with regards to general health awareness like Hygienics and healthy living, they can contribute to build a healthier planet. To conclude, affluent nations should contribute to the above said issues of impoverished nations with their efforts in terms of dedication and technological resources which in result contributes to their economies too and eventually can help in building a better planet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
experts in bilateral issues believe that due to major issues of health, education and trade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are suffering
enormously
. It is my firm belief that Developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
their part in solving these major challenges of the world. In this essay, I will elaborate my opinion with appropriate evidences.

Every human being on this planet
is associated
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contributes
to each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
geographical locations. Since,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
of affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are
moreover
dependent on developing or poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
Admittedly
, population of poor countries like Africa
for instance
is, blessing in disguise. The manpower is available in a substantial amount, who can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to the outsourcing in the technology sector in Europe and North American geographies, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communications is
highly
demanded which,
otherwise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
be managed
by these rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
at a reasonable cost.
As a result
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
grow at a much faster pace.

Secondly
, it takes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort from both sides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
eventually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their destiny. Since,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
have a lack of advancement in educational resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has enormous potential to
be grown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skilled professionals, who can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
where manpower is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenge owing to
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
populations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
win win
situation for both.
Moreover
, from a humanitarian aspect, if wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can inculcate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
knowledge and wisdom
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
general health awareness like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hygienics
and healthy living, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to build a healthier planet.

To conclude
, affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contribute
to the above said issues of impoverished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
with their efforts in terms of dedication and technological resources which in result
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contributes
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economies
too and
eventually
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in building a better planet.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. with this opinion? v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts