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Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? Write at least 250 words. v.7

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 7
In this day and age, those settling in other countries plays an important role in civilization. In my experience, there are many factors for this. By contrast, it may also bring some bad consequences. To start with, they want to live a better life and be safe in developed countries. It goes without saying that many countries which have low security include terrorism, theft, . . . Must be in danger to live. On the top of that, there are those countries suffering from disasters, pollution, makes people dealing it hard. On the other hand, it is believed that people can find an ideal job and offer many job opportunities. What's more, good environment is certainly available with modern equipments and quality teachers so they can devote all of their abilities. When it comes to that, that country will be able to choose some talented people to improve it. However, there are negative results of immigration. It is worth considering that unemployment will happen as it is a serious threat for young generation. One reason behind this is that there are too many people and they have to compete against each other to get a job with high salary. Moreover, people immigrating to other countries lose a chance to take care of their parents when they are older. All things considered, immigration has an important impact on society. My own view on the matter is that we should balance the number of immigrants and control them to make sure they are not too much of them
In this day and age, those settling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in civilization. In my experience, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors for this. By contrast, it may
also
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life and be safe in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It goes without saying that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which have low security include terrorism, theft
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Must
be in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. On the top of that, there are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
suffering from disasters, pollution,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dealing it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find an ideal job and offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities. What's more,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment is
certainly
available with modern equipments and quality teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can devote all of their abilities. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to that, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will be able to choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
results of immigration. It is worth considering that unemployment will happen as it is a serious threat for young generation. One reason behind this is that there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
compete against each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job with high salary.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
immigrating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
lose a chance to take care of their parents when they are older.

All things considered, immigration has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
impact on society. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view on the matter is that we should balance the number of immigrants and control them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they are not too much of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
them
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead? v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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