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Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole? v.4

Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole? v. 4
It is often said that high illiteracy rate is one of the most alarming issues in many countries, especially less affluent ones these days. There are two main causes, and two key impacts, which I will outline now. Perhaps the most widely-observed factor is the lack of education, meaning that there are not enough education facilities in relation to the population’s size. It is notable, for example, that the scarcity of schools or even class rooms has resulted in many African children stopping going to school. Another well-known root may be the families’ financial backgrounds, which means that numerous parents are too poor to let their children pursue higher education, as such youngsters have to start working to support their families financially as soon as they can. Examples can be seen in Thailand, where lots of kids have been sent to boxing clubs to be trained with the sole purpose of becoming professional fighters so that these boxers would be able to join in commercial tournaments. Turning to the depressing effects of illiteracy, the most severe impact would be the high unemployment rate, as many young adults are uneducated and have few job opportunities. In fact, this may potentially lead to such youngsters being tempted to get involved in petty crimes such as shoplifting or vandalism, making the crime rate become dangerously high. A further long-term influence would be for nations to lack a large number of well-educated workers, weakening the foreign investment. Consequently, the economic prospects of these countries are less likely to be improved, lessening the development of such nations to some extent. In conclusion, the main causes of illiteracy generally relate to education system and families’ income status, whereas the impacts are seen in high joblessness rate and slow economic growth.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is one of the most alarming issues in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries,
especially
less affluent ones these days. There are two main causes, and two key impacts, which I will outline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

Perhaps the most
widely
-observed factor is the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, meaning that there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities in relation to the population’s size. It is notable,
for example
, that the scarcity of schools or even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
rooms has resulted in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
African children stopping going to school. Another well-known root may be the families’ financial backgrounds, which means that numerous parents are too poor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their children pursue higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, as such youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working to support their families
financially
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they can. Examples can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Thailand, where lots of kids have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to boxing clubs to
be trained
with the sole purpose of becoming professional fighters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that these boxers would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in commercial tournaments.

Turning to the depressing effects of illiteracy, the most severe impact would be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young adults
are uneducated
and have few job opportunities. In fact, this may
potentially
lead to such youngsters
being tempted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in petty crimes such as shoplifting or vandalism, making the crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
become
dangerously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
. A
further
long-term influence would be for nations to lack
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
well-educated workers, weakening the foreign investment.
Consequently
, the economic prospects of these countries are less likely to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, lessening the development of such nations to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

In conclusion
, the main causes of illiteracy
generally
relate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system and families’ income status, whereas the impacts are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
joblessness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and slow economic growth.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Illiteracy continues to be a concern for many countries in the world today. What are the causes of illiteracy in the modern world, and what effects does it have on the people concerned and on society as a whole? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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