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Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion. v.4

Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion. v. 4
It is often said that children should be sent to boarding schools due to its huge benefits, whereas some people feel that this is not an advisable decision. There are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss and give a concluding view now. On the one hand, supporters of boarding schools claim that students seem to learn to live more independently in such places, as they have to take care of themselves in many aspects. In fact, this could probably lead to them becoming increasingly self-reliant, which may be an excellent preparation for youngsters before entering their adult lives. However, it must be said that many students appear to lack emotional supports from their parents because they have to stay away from their families. Examples can be seen in many primary pupils living in boarding schools, who could feel cut-off and stressful, resulting in their academic underperformances. On the other hand, opponents of this view point out that there are two main advantages which only day schools can provide. Firstly, many kids have the needs to join in various extracurricular activities such as doing sports or playing musical instruments with the sole purpose of relaxing. It must be said that students may not be provided with such activities if they are in boarding schools. Secondly, it seems vitally important for children to learn patterns of behaviors from their parents, as this could be maximized by interactions among family members. This can help kids to cultivate their civic sense, so that they will become productive members of society later on. In conclusion, it is logical to conclude that children attending ordinary schools may gain more advantages such as having time to pursue their hobbies or developing proper behavioral patterns compared to those who stay in boarding ones. It would appear that children should only attend boarding schools as long as they are interested in.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
due to its huge benefits, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that this is not an advisable decision. There are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss and give a concluding view
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand, supporters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
claim that students seem to learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more
independently
in such places, as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of themselves in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects. In fact, this could
probably
lead to them becoming
increasingly
self-reliant, which may be an excellent preparation for youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering their adult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students appear to lack emotional supports from their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
stay away from their families. Examples can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
primary pupils living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, who could feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-off and stressful, resulting in their academic
Possible spelling mistake found.
underperformances
.

On the other hand
, opponents of this view point out that there are two main advantages which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can provide.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids have the needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in various extracurricular activities such as doing sports or playing musical instruments with the sole purpose of relaxing. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that students may not
be provided
with such activities if they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Secondly
, it seems
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn patterns of behaviors from their parents, as this could
be maximized
by interactions among family members. This can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
kids to cultivate their civic sense,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will become productive members of society later on.

In conclusion
, it is logical
to conclude
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attending ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
may gain more advantages such as having time to pursue their hobbies or developing proper behavioral patterns compared to those who stay in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
ones. It would appear that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as long as they
are interested
in.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people feel that boarding schools are an excellent option for children, while other people disagree for a number of reasons. Consider both sides of this debate and reach a conclusion. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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