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If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer v.1

If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer v. 1
It is a developed or a developing country poverty do exist in every corner of the world. All the countries have several policies to deal with it. In this essay, I will discuss about the crucial causes of world poverty and ways to help poor population. One of the most essential reasons of poverty is unemployment. In order to come above poverty line people need a job but there is no position open for jobs in required fields. . This problem is widely frequent in the overpopulated countries like India and china. To explain in depth, there are more job seekers than the open job position. Additionally, even if they get the job, they might have to work at a low wage rate because there are many individuals without jobs, who are ready to work with low pay rate. Nevertheless, they will have to survive on low income for a long period, which increases poverty in a country. If we look at the ways to help the poor populations. According to me, The most popular step is the government policies. To help the economy, civil workers should establish specific rules to help poor people, so that they can also live a better life instead of struggling for money. For an instance, For improving the economic situation of country low income groups, the government has introduced tax relief. The Government can also provide the basic necessity of the life such as food, clothing and shelter for the people who are living in the extremely poor conditions. So that, by making minor steps poverty can be eradicated in the long run. To put in a nutshell, poverty is the condition which can be found everywhere in the world, All citizens and the government of all countries should come together to remove it from the core.
It is a developed or a developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
do exist in every corner of the world. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have several policies to deal with it. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
crucial causes of world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
population.

One of the most essential reasons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is unemployment. In order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
line
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is no position open for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in required fields.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This problem is
widely
frequent in the overpopulated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India and china. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in depth, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers than the open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
position.
Additionally
, even if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, they might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
wage rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, who are ready to work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
pay rate.
Nevertheless
, they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
survive on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
income for a long period, which increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
in a country.

“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we look at the ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
populations.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, The most popular step is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
policies. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the economy, civil workers should establish specific
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a better life
instead
of struggling for money. For an instance, For improving the economic situation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
low
income groups, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has introduced tax relief. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
can
also
provide the basic necessity of the life such as food, clothing and shelter for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are living in the
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
conditions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, by making minor steps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
can
be eradicated
in the long run.

To put in a nutshell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
is the condition which can
be found
everywhere in the world, All citizens and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to remove it from the core.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay If you were an employer, which kind of worker would you prefer to hire: an inexperienced worker at a lower salary or an experienced worker at a higher salary? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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