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14. Most students use the Internet to study. Some do research on the Internet. Some post questions or join discussion groups. What are the most useful ways forstudents to use the Internet? v.1

14. Most students use the Internet to study. Some do research on the Internet. Some post questions or join discussion groups. What are the most useful ways forstudents to use the Internet? v. 1
Nowadays, countries are developing year by year and that developments are compelling people to travel more to other states and it is useful for countries budget and money which is collected from tourism could use in medical and educational ways. I believe that tourism has more benefits than drawbacks. This essay will look at some aspects to justify my viewpoint. To start with, a number of tourists increased in many modern and historical countries after beginning technological century due to we can see that many countries reached a peak in development and it might cause to increase a budget of country whereas could impact negatively for their citizens' health. A corona virus can be a prime example, there was a high demand in Russian citizens that going to the Italy last month due to there was a discount for some things such as tickets and hotel prices decreased significantly then most some Russians preferred going there as a result their some parts approximately 15% or 13 % came back to the Russian with a corona virus. Another drawback of travel is that traditional customs might be lost due to tourists. Some local people stated that their traditional cultures are not suitable to the modern era, whereas cultures brought from tourists is more suitable and modern. Then they try to learn another country's custom or their style of dresses then they will forget their tradition as a result local traditions might be lost step by step. By contrast, opponents of this view point out that tourism could increase a country's budget significantly because every tourist spends approximately from 500 dollars to more than 5000 dollars in his or her travel point. A money which collected through tourism could boost a country's educational system and development. For example, America is the best region to travel in the world and every year more than a million people come there for travel. We can see that USA earns a much money via tourism each year. It is crystal clear that American's university and medicine system are the best worldwide because USA spends more money which collected through tourism to these types of systems. In conclusion, tourism has more benefits than drawbacks, hence, if countries give a more choice to come tourist. It will be more beneficial for their budget
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
and that developments are compelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
more to other states and it is useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which
is collected
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in medical and educational ways. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has more benefits than drawbacks. This essay will look at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects to justify my viewpoint.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
increased in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modern and historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
after beginning technological century due to we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
reached a peak in development and it might cause to increase a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
whereas could impact
negatively
for their citizens' health. A
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
can be a prime example, there was a high demand in Russian citizens that going to the Italy last month due to there was a discount for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things such as tickets and hotel prices decreased
significantly
then most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Russians preferred going there
as a result
their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts approximately 15% or 13 % came back to the Russian with a
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
. Another drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is that traditional customs might
be lost
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stated that their traditional cultures are not suitable to the modern era, whereas cultures brought from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
is more suitable and modern. Then they try to learn another country's custom or their style of dresses then they will forget their tradition
as a result
local traditions might
be lost
step by step.

By contrast, opponents of this view point out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
could increase a country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spends approximately from 500 dollars to more than 5000 dollars in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
point. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which collected through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
could boost a country's educational system and development.
For example
, America is the best region to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in the world and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
more than a million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
there for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that USA earns a much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that American's university and medicine system are the best worldwide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
USA spends more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which collected through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
to these types of systems.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has more benefits than drawbacks,
hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
give a more choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
. It will be more beneficial for their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
budget
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay 14. Most students use the Internet to study. Some do research on the Internet. Some post questions or join discussion groups. What are the most useful ways forstudents to use the Internet? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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