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If you sell a product and people buy it, then advertising it is not necessary and considered as a kind of entertainment. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

If you sell a product and people buy it, then advertising it is not necessary and considered as a kind of entertainment. v. 1
Marketing and advertising have always been an integral part of the sales process. However, many people believe that advertising is pointless if the product is already selling well. I do not agree with this viewpoint as advertisements offer many other benefits to the manufacturers. To begin with, it is undeniable that advertising increases profits as it plays a major role in convincing people to buy the advertised product by giving the feeling that life with it can be happier and more comfortable. For example, studies have shown that even if a particular product is widely consumed, using adverts will spur more people to make the purchase, which of course ensure the success of the business. In addition to that, adverts are essential to illustrate the benefits of the product and explain how it functions. On the other hand, advertising encourages loyalty among customers and increase their trust in the company. This would restrict any competition from other manufacturers who wish to produce similar products. For instance, the engaging and continuous advertising of Pepsi cola has made it the dominating soft drink brand despite the fact that several other companies are trying to make a name in this industry. Thus the role of advertising extends beyond providing entertainment. It builds brand value and recognition. In conclusion, after analysing the previous points, it is clear that promoting products is vital as many positive merits are drawn from this practice. Therefore, it is recommended that all companies launch advertising campaigns that allow their products to reach the widest possible market.
Marketing and advertising have always been an integral part of the sales process.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that advertising is pointless if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is already selling well. I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint as advertisements offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
benefits to the manufacturers.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is undeniable that advertising increases profits as it plays a major role in convincing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by giving the feeling that life with it can be happier and more comfortable.
For example
, studies have shown that even if a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
widely
consumed, using adverts will spur more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, which
of course
ensure the success of the business.
In addition
to that, adverts are essential to illustrate the benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how it functions.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, advertising encourages loyalty among customers and increase their trust in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. This would restrict any competition from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
manufacturers who wish to produce similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, the engaging and continuous advertising of Pepsi cola has made it the dominating soft drink brand despite the fact that several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a name in this industry.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the role of advertising extends beyond providing entertainment. It builds brand value and recognition.

In conclusion
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the previous points, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is vital as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
merits
are drawn
from this practice.
Therefore
, it
is recommended
that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
launch advertising campaigns that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to reach the widest possible market.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay If you sell a product and people buy it, then advertising it is not necessary and considered as a kind of entertainment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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