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. If you have a chance to choose your job, would you like to choose a job withhigh salary or that can get personal satisfaction? Why? v.2

. If you have a chance to choose your job, would you like to choose a job withhigh salary or that can get personal satisfaction? Why? v. 2
Sedentary lifestyle and bad eating habits have led to an increase in obesity, which has become a major concern nowadays. Some people believe that the best way of improving people's fitness is by increasing sports facilities, however, others say that this may not have a significant effect and other measures like reduction in fast food consumption is required. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue why dietary patterns should be modified, specially lowering the usage of high calorie food stuff. Building more grounds, gyms and park would be helpful for people to stay fit. Researches have led it to be a proven fact that daily exercise is necessary for a person to lead a healthy life. Governments should encourage people by advertisement campaigns and passing laws to conduct more sports events in offices, schools and universities. According to a recent study, in Japan, people working in organizations which conducted sports events had lesser medical problems compared to the ones’ those didn’t. Therefore, daily workout is considered to be necessary irrespective of age, gender and profession. However, others’ including myself, believe that controlling daily diet plays a vital role in human health. Curbing the usage of snack and other high calorie food such as ice cream and cakes would be more helpful. These items result in an increased weight, which is the primary root cause of several diseases. For example, public in Thailand consumes mostly vegetables and fruits in their daily appetite, resulting in longer life expectancy. It is also recommended that governments should increase taxes on unhealthy meal to reduce its consumption. In conclusion, this essay firstly, discussed how exercise is necessary for people to stay healthy and secondly, argued why controlling diet is more important as compared to physical exertion.
Sedentary lifestyle and
bad
eating habits have led to an increase in obesity, which has become a major concern nowadays.
Some
people
believe that the best way of improving
people
's fitness is by increasing sports facilities,
however
, others say that this may not have a significant effect and
other
measures like reduction in
fast
food consumption
is required
. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and argue why dietary patterns should
be modified
,
specially
lowering the usage of high calorie food stuff.

Building more grounds, gyms and park would be helpful for
people
to stay fit. Researches have led it to be a proven fact that
daily
exercise is necessary for a person to lead a healthy life.
Governments
should encourage
people
by advertisement campaigns and passing laws to conduct more sports
events
in offices, schools and universities. According to a recent study, in Japan,
people
working in organizations which conducted sports
events
had lesser medical problems compared to the ones’ those didn’t.
Therefore
,
daily
workout
is considered
to be necessary irrespective of age, gender and profession.

However
, others’ including myself, believe that controlling
daily
diet plays a vital role in human health. Curbing the usage of snack and
other
high calorie food such as ice cream and cakes would be more helpful. These items result in an increased weight, which is the primary root cause of several diseases.
For example
, public in Thailand consumes
mostly
vegetables and fruits in their
daily
appetite, resulting in longer life expectancy. It is
also
recommended that
governments
should increase taxes on unhealthy meal to
reduce
its consumption.

In conclusion
, this essay
firstly
, discussed how exercise is necessary for
people
to stay healthy and
secondly
, argued why controlling diet is more
important
as compared to physical exertion.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay . If you have a chance to choose your job, would you like to choose a job withhigh salary or that can get personal satisfaction? Why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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