Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

if you get a chance to meet an eminent person who is alive now, which person do you choose? explain why. v.1

if you get a chance to meet an eminent person who is alive now, which person do you choose? explain why. v. 1
It is believed by some that it is not worth it for countries to host global sporting events. In my opinion, I completely disagree because these occassions bring tourists and job opportunities. Hosting international sporting events is a good opportunity to lure tourists in and as a result, improve the economy. The host country will receive more money from their attractions as tourists will want to explore the country. For example, the income received from tourists after the 2014 Soccer World Cup in Brazil accounted for 5% of their economic growth. Therefore, the more tourists enter a country, the more money can be made. In addition, the host country is showcased to the world. Effectively, this will also bring more foreigners to the country if they were correctly advertised. For instance, when I tell foreigners I am from South Africa, they immediately link this to FIFA World Cup and wildlife. Thus, big sporting events attract increasingly more people to visit the host country. Hosting big international events creates more jobs for the nation. The construction of stadiums requires workers to build. Additionally, staff to manage these stadiums are also needed to ensure all runs smoothly. For example, the unemployment rate in China went down after they hosted the Olympics in 2012. For this reason, these sporting events aid job creation. In conclusion, I disagree that international sport events are not worth the effort as it is a good opportunity for the host nation to improve their economy by attracting foreigners and creating jobs.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that it is not worth it for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
global sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
. In my opinion, I completely disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
Possible spelling mistake found.
occassions
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.

Hosting international sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity to lure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in and
as a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will receive more money from their attractions as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
will want to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, the income received from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
after the 2014 Soccer World Cup in Brazil accounted for 5% of their economic growth.
Therefore
, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
enter a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, the more money can
be made
.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is showcased
to the world.
Effectively
, this will
also
bring more foreigners to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
if they were
correctly
advertised.
For instance
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
foreigners I am from South Africa, they immediately link this to FIFA World Cup and wildlife.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
attract
increasingly
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
country.

Hosting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
creates more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for the nation. The construction of stadiums requires workers to build.
Additionally
, staff to manage these stadiums are
also
needed to ensure all runs
smoothly
.
For example
, the unemployment rate in China went down after they hosted the Olympics in 2012.
For this reason
, these sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
creation.

In conclusion
, I disagree that international sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are not worth the effort as it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
host
nation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their economy by attracting foreigners and creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay if you get a chance to meet an eminent person who is alive now, which person do you choose? explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts