Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history Do you agree or disagree Give your opinion and examples v.2

It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history Give your opinion and examples v. 2
History broadens the horizon of one' s knowledge about the past happenings. It has been controversial whether learning about the local history is of greater significance for juveniles than knowing about the world history or not. Here, i would like to discord with the given statement. There are multifarious points to shore up my view. First and foremost, the knowledge of world history highlights the international scenario to clear the prospectives of someone at international level. To demonstrate, unlike local history, one can get informed about the policies of past leaders or distinct countries in terms of social, commercial and political matters by learning the world history. Apart from it, sacrifices of martyrs and examples of some most influential leaders of the world could be a source of inspiration and bravery. Therefore, one who gets informed about the history of entire globe finds it easy to settle himself at international level compare to an individual with the knowledge of only local history. Further emphasizing on my point of view, the world history also portrays the world wars of former times with the comprehensive description of causes, effects and consequences. To be specific, knowing about the destruction of two major cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan can aware a person about the heart rendering results, exploitation and cruelty towards the mankind during world wars. Hence, having familiarity with the world history can make an individual better thinker and planner. On the contrary, others have contrasting views. They think that being informed about local history makes a child respectful towards cultural, historic and ancestral values of his native country. More significantly, they can think of the sacrifices of martyrs and bravery shown by the leaders of their home country. Thus, teaching local history is worthwhile to install patriotic spirit among adolescents. On the flip side, world events may not have close association or direct linkage with their personal lives. Consequently, local history deserves more priority than global past. To recapitulate, undeniably, the importance of local history can never be underestimated; however, i still believe in this era of globalization, boundaries between nations are no longer of that importance. Therefore, providing lessons of world history is the need of an hour in the schools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
broadens the horizon of
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s knowledge about the past happenings. It has been controversial whether learning about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is of greater significance for juveniles than knowing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
or not. Here,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to discord with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

There are multifarious points to shore up my view.
First
and foremost, the knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
highlights the international scenario to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
prospectives
of someone at international level. To demonstrate, unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
informed about the policies of past leaders or distinct countries in terms of social, commercial and political matters by learning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Apart from it, sacrifices of martyrs and examples of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
most influential leaders of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
could be a source of inspiration and bravery.
Therefore
, one who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
informed about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
of entire globe finds it easy to settle himself at international level compare to an individual with the knowledge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
history.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
also
portrays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
wars of former times with the comprehensive description of causes, effects and consequences. To be specific, knowing about the destruction of two major cities Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan can aware a person about the heart rendering results, exploitation and cruelty towards the mankind during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
wars.
Hence
, having familiarity with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an individual better thinker and planner.
On the contrary
, others have contrasting views.

They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
being informed
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a child respectful towards cultural, historic and ancestral values of his native country. More
significantly
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of the sacrifices of martyrs and bravery shown by the leaders of their home country.
Thus
, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is worthwhile to install patriotic spirit among adolescents. On the flip side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
may not have close association or direct linkage with their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
deserves more priority than global past.

To recapitulate,
undeniably
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
can never
be underestimated
;
however
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
still
believe in this era of globalization, boundaries between nations are no longer of that importance.
Therefore
, providing lessons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the need of an hour in the schools.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history Give your opinion and examples v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts