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If a product is good or it meet people's needs, people will buy it. Advertising is no more than a form of entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

If a product is good or it meet people's needs, people will buy it. Advertising is no more than a form of entertainment. v. 1
The necessity of something is thought to be the reason that persuades consumers buy products, according to their requirements. It is, therefore, considered by a few that advertisements do not have any impact on shopping. I disagree with this narrative and believe that the advertisements help buyers in shopping by making it more convenient and getting more discounts. It is accepted that need is perhaps the single most important factor that directly affects the shopping done by an individual. In other words, why would someone buy a product that he is not in need of. Thus, it is logical to think that the advertisements do not have any role in helping the customers to purchase something rather they are thought to entertain the public. For instance, it is obvious that a person in need of clothes will never visit a crockery shop, whatever the lucrative and attractive advertisements or discounts offered to him. Advertisements help people to buy their required goods in a number of ways rather than merely an entertainment source, as suggested by a few. Firstly, apprising customers on the various upcoming modern products with latest designs and technology to which they are unaware of, make their shopping more convenient. For instance, knowing the specifications of a tablet or a mobile phone through the ads displayed on the television makes it easier for an individual to select one that perfectly suits him by sitting at home rather than going to market and searching shops to find one. Furthermore, the upcoming trend of advertising mega-sales and discounts on products through the television and social networking sites facilitates customers to visit the market and buy their required things at a cheaper rate. In fact, many shops and brands are, nowadays, using the contact numbers of their regular customers to communicate them about their latest sales and designs. In conclusion, I consider that the advertisements not only help customers in shopping by making it more convenient, simpler and cost-effective. It is, however, recommended that a legislation must be made so that the companies and the traders should paint the true picture of their product rather than misleading the customers.
The necessity of something is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to be the reason that persuades consumers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, according to their requirements. It is,
therefore
, considered by a few that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
do not have any impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. I disagree with this narrative and believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
buyers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
by making it more convenient and getting more discounts.

It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that need is perhaps the single most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor that
directly
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
done by an individual.
In other words
, why would someone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that he is not in need of.
Thus
, it is logical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
do not have any role in helping the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to entertain the public.
For instance
, it is obvious that a person in need of clothes will never visit a crockery shop, whatever the lucrative and attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
or discounts offered to him.

Advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in a number of ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
merely
an entertainment source, as suggested by a few.
Firstly
, apprising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
on the various upcoming modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
designs and technology to which they are unaware of,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
more convenient.
For instance
, knowing the specifications of a tablet or a mobile phone through the ads displayed on the television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easier for an individual to select one that
perfectly
suits him by sitting at home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than going to market and searching shops to find one.
Furthermore
, the upcoming trend of advertising mega-sales and discounts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
through the television and social networking sites facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to visit the market and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their required things at a cheaper rate. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shops and brands are, nowadays, using the contact numbers of their regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to communicate them about their latest sales and designs.

In conclusion
, I consider that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
by making it more convenient, simpler and cost-effective. It is,
however
, recommended that a legislation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and the traders should paint the true picture of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than misleading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay If a product is good or it meet people's needs, people will buy it. Advertising is no more than a form of entertainment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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