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Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree? v.8

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. v. 8
It is said that science education should be managed by politics better than company ownership. I completely agree with this view, the authorities need to responsible for carrying out the science activities. There is no doubt about the idea that the power should take care of these researches have a number of benefits. Firstly, as administration of one country in the world can co-operate with other different countries in the world, these scientific projects can be conducted on a large scale, which attract large foreign investment. If the fail to achieve the main aims, the ministry has enough resources to cope up with the problem how to make up the deficit. Secondly, the main purpose of the authority conducting these researches is social welfare, studies about climate changes, crime rates, infectious disease in people are a great example, thanks to these collaborations, the top scientists across countries can resolve these fundamental challenges. Without the control of the authority, some private sector could carry out illegal investigation, such as nuclear weapons, it will cause a serious problem to the society because generating profit is the top priority of the company rather than helping all citizens have a better life. Moreover, many industry-funded researchers have been poorly conducted and cheap building materials to gain some profits from these projects. However, there are also a number of drawbacks that this idea may bring with this. For instance, ministry-funded projects require a huge money and that will put a pressure on the national’s budget. The more authorities investment could lead to an imbalance in national spending. If projects have been conducted by private companies, this would help to ease the burden. As a result, residents would pay lower taxes, the administration will have more cash to care other important fields like education, military, health, etc. For example, a company called Tesla has been carrying out extensive investigation in order to produce electric cars and bring them to the market. It is not hard to see that the administration's funding of inquiry is in the interests of the public. In conclusion, although private companies have their own benefit, for a country in scientific projects, the authority should get involved in scientific research, it will have an adverse influence on the development of any nation.
It
is said
that science education should
be managed
by politics better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
ownership. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authorities
need to responsible for carrying out the science activities.

There is no doubt about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the power should take care of these researches have a number of benefits.
Firstly
, as administration of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the world can co-operate with other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the world, these scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
can
be conducted
on a large scale, which attract large foreign investment. If the fail to achieve the main aims, the ministry has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources to cope up with the problem how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up the deficit.
Secondly
, the main purpose of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
conducting these researches is social welfare, studies about climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, crime rates, infectious disease in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are a great example, thanks to these collaborations, the top scientists across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can resolve these fundamental challenges. Without the control of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
private sector could carry out illegal investigation, such as nuclear weapons, it will cause a serious problem to the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
generating profit is the top priority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
rather
than helping all citizens have a better life.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industry-funded researchers have been
poorly
conducted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
building materials to gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
profits from these projects.

However
, there are
also
a number of drawbacks that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
may bring with this.
For instance
, ministry-funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
require a huge money and that will put a pressure on the national’s budget. The more
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "authorities'" or "authority's"?
authorities
investment could lead to an imbalance in national spending. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
have
been conducted
by private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the burden.
As a result
, residents would pay lower taxes, the administration will have more cash to care other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
fields like education, military, health, etc.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
called Tesla has been carrying out extensive investigation in order to produce electric cars and bring them to the market. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the administration's funding of inquiry is in the interests of the public.

In conclusion
, although private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit, for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
authority
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in scientific research, it will have an adverse influence on the development of any nation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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