Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

If a fiend started new job and has experienced trouble with coworkers what advice should you suggest and why? v.1

If a fiend started new job and has experienced trouble with coworkers what advice should you suggest and why? v. 1
Nowadays, University students are opting for subjects as per their interest and concentrate on it such as science and technology, mathematics and many more, which would be better for their future. While Others believe that Universities should teach topics to their students, which is helpful for their career orientation. This essay will discuss both views with a reasoned conclusion. To begin with, the freedom of selecting subjects at university would make education more effective and would not force students to choose a particular course. For example, if an undergraduate fellow got scored highest marks in any topic and want to continue their career in the same field, but their parents are forcing them to select any other topic rather than his personal choice. In this condition, a student is getting more confusing during the selection. Moreover, if a student chooses the text as per his interest so definitely he would perform extravaganza in their academics. Is choosing a subject as per any individual's interest play an important role in life or not? The answer is absolutely yes. On the other hand, people feel that the University should provide subjects which will be beneficial for any individual's career. Though technology-related subjects are quite important and Universities keep the focus on it broadly. For example, if a student performs good results in science while unable to score passing marks in mathematics so it is the responsibility of facilities along with parents to cope up and teach them that every subject is valuable and equally important for the future. In conclusion, the University should give more focus on quality education with an individual's choice. Everyone has their choose, however, take other subjects important for a bright future. According to me, all the subjects are valuable throughout life and give focus in all courses but don't neglect completely.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
as per their interest and concentrate on it such as science and technology, mathematics and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more, which would be better for their future. While Others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
should teach topics to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which is helpful for their career orientation.

This essay will discuss both views with a reasoned conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the freedom of selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
education more effective and would not force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to choose a particular course.
For example
, if an undergraduate fellow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
scored
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
marks in any topic and want to continue their career in the same field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their parents are forcing them to select any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
topic
rather
than his personal choice. In this condition, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is getting more confusing during the selection.
Moreover
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
chooses the text as per his interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
definitely he would perform extravaganza in their academics. Is choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
as per any individual's interest play an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role in life or not? The answer is
absolutely
yes.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which will be beneficial for any individual's career. Though technology-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the focus on it
broadly
.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
performs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results in science while unable to score passing marks in mathematics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is the responsibility of facilities along with parents to cope up and teach them that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is valuable and
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for the future.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
should give more focus on quality education with an individual's choice. Everyone has their choose,
however
, take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a bright future.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are valuable throughout life and give
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
all courses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don't neglect completely.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If a fiend started new job and has experienced trouble with coworkers what advice should you suggest and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts