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The graph below shoes the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v.1

The graph below shoes the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 1
It is a known fact that maintaining parity between professional and personal part of life is very vital for every working professional. Some people succeed in this goal, whereas others are still in process of fulfilling their aim. This essay will illustrate the possible reasons for not being able to maintain this crucial balance along with plausible measures to solve this problem. The prime factor responsible for disrupting this balance is unrealistic expectations of client which lead professionals to work for extra hours to meet the unreasonable deadlines. For instance, especially in developing countries, multinational companies have overtime compensation policies to motivate people to work for long hours thereby disturbing their work-life balance. In order, to solve this issue, these huge firms should take a firm stand against client’s unreasonable demands, in fact, they should promote and implement ‘No Overtime’ work policy. As a result, the employee would be able to engage himself in other aspects of his life like hobbies, family, friends, community service and many more. Another important reason contributing to the problem is the competitive environment in which we are thriving that doesn’t allow us to focus on other parts of our life except work. People remain in constant fear of being thrown out of this corporate race if they fail to equip themselves timely. To tackle this issue, people should manage their time and priorities effectively considering the importance of other things, namely relations and family, in their life. This would result in a better individual who is self-motivated and has sorted priorities. In conclusion, maintaining work life balance is a tedious task in this competitive era which is full of demands and expectations, yet if people try to prioritize their work and time effectively, they can achieve their goal easily.
It is a known fact that maintaining parity between professional and personal part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital for every working professional.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
succeed in this goal, whereas others are
still
in process of fulfilling their aim. This essay will illustrate the possible reasons for not being able to maintain this crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
along with plausible measures to solve this problem.

The prime factor responsible for disrupting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is unrealistic expectations of client which lead professionals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for extra hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the unreasonable deadlines.
For instance
,
especially
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have overtime compensation policies to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long hours thereby disturbing their work-life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
. In order, to solve this issue, these huge firms should take a firm stand against client’s unreasonable demands, in fact, they should promote and implement ‘No Overtime’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
policy.
As a result
, the employee would be able to engage himself in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
aspects of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
like hobbies, family, friends, community service and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason contributing to the problem is the competitive environment in which we are thriving that doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
except
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
remain in constant fear of
being thrown
out of this corporate race if they fail to equip themselves timely. To tackle this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should manage their time and priorities
effectively
considering the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things,
namely
relations and family, in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This would result in a better individual who is self-motivated and has sorted priorities.

In conclusion
, maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balance
is a tedious task in this competitive era which is full of demands and expectations,
yet
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to prioritize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and time
effectively
, they can achieve their goal
easily
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shoes the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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