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I many countries, people are living in a throwaway society where things are used for a short period and throw away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to? v.1

I many countries, people are living in a throwaway society where things are used for a short period and throw away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to? v. 1
Individuals living in the 21st century have a culture of disposing things that could still be of value even though these persons used the material in question for only a short while. This essay will discuss two main causes of this problem, including recent productions of substandard products and inferiority complex. This essay will also highlight solutions to this problem, including a policy by the government to address, the kind of goods made by our industries and a mental reminder to the young adults. Nowadays, our market is flooded with products that are not up to standard, although not necessarily fake. As a result of this, people buy these products which looks flashy, but are discarded by these buyers as soon as they come to the realization that the said product is substandard. For instance, two months after I bought a dress once online, the colour was fading away. Of course, I was forced to throw it away. Another cause is the inferiority complex of an individual. Research has shown that many persons will likely change their smart devices or cars, to impress their friends, even when there is no need for it. This is what many youths rather do than invest the money or do something worthwhile with it. In a nutshell, the mental state of an individual and the presence of I think in order to reduce the rate at which we dispose stuffs in our society, the government should set a policy that states the standardized threshold which the production industry should strictly adhere to. Furthermore, there should be a mental revolution of our state of minds as individuals. People, most especially young adults, should be reminded constantly that they do not have to please anyone. There has been an uprising in the rate at which we discard things in the society. This essay discussed the causes of this trend and also recommended ways this problem can be solved.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
living in the 21st century have a culture of disposing things that could
still
be of value
even though
these persons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the material in question for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a short while. This essay will discuss two main causes of this problem, including recent productions of substandard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and inferiority complex. This essay will
also
highlight solutions to this problem, including a policy by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to address, the kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
made by our industries and a mental reminder to the young adults.

Nowadays, our market
is flooded
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are not up to standard, although not
necessarily
fake.
As a result
of this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which looks flashy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are discarded
by these buyers as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the realization that the said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is substandard.
For instance
, two months after I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a dress once online, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
was fading away.
Of course
, I
was forced
to throw it away. Another cause is the inferiority complex of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. Research has shown that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
persons will likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their smart devices or cars, to impress their friends, even when there is no need for it. This is what
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youths
rather
do than invest the money or do something worthwhile with it. In a nutshell, the mental state of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and the presence
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the rate at which we dispose stuffs in our society, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should set a policy that states the standardized threshold which the production industry should
strictly
adhere to.
Furthermore
, there should be a mental revolution of our state of minds as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
, most
especially
young adults, should
be reminded
constantly
that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
anyone.

There has been an uprising in the rate at which we discard things in the society.

This essay discussed the causes of this trend and
also
recommended ways this problem can
be solved
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay I many countries, people are living in a throwaway society where things are used for a short period and throw away. What are the causes of this and what problems does it lead to? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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