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How do you prefer to be informed about the news and why? use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v.1

How do you prefer to be informed about the news and why? use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 1
In recent years, many people spend time on the internet, especially teenagers and thus spending less time with real people. Even though, the internet or technology can help worldwide communicate, but it also has a negative effect which is effective in our daily life activities. First, the benefits of the internet about communication are hard to disagree about it. People can talk and connected in a different part of the world. It’s better than past that can use only email or phone which takes time and hard to reply in real-time. So, the internet has changed in a better way dramatically. It also has a lot of applications for chatting such as Facebook Line MSN or Instagram that created online communities and can share everything in real life. For business, the internet is very important since people have to use the internet to contact suppliers or customers within a second. On the other hand, the internet has negative impacts on social interaction. People spend most of their time chatting and watching some news or Youtube. So, they aren’t interacting with neighbors or friends in real life. “Human being is a social animal” Aristotle said, this phrase can prove by now in this situation, COVID-19. Even though we have internet and can be meeting with video calling but it is still not like real humans. Also, those who spend too much time on the internet are the cause of many syndromes such as office syndromes and they will lack face to face interaction, which is opposite to what is the human being. In conclusion, I strongly agree with concerned about social interaction. Although the internet indeed has many benefits, we have to concerned about the amount of time of spending on the internet. It is important to manage and balance time between online and real humans.
In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and
thus
spending less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Even though
, the internet or technology can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
worldwide communicate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect which is effective in our daily life activities.

First
, the benefits of the internet about communication are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to disagree about it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can talk and connected in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
part of the world. It’s better than past that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
email or phone which takes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to reply in real-time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in a better way
dramatically
. It
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
applications for chatting such as Facebook Line MSN or Instagram that created online communities and can share everything in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life. For business, the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the internet to contact suppliers or customers within a second.

On the other hand
, the internet has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on social interaction.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
spend most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
chatting and watching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
news or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they aren’t interacting with neighbors or friends in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Human
being is a social animal” Aristotle said, this phrase can prove by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in this situation, COVID-19.
Even though
we have internet and can be meeting with video calling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
still
not like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Also
, those who spend too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet are the cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
syndromes such as office
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
syndromes and
they will lack face to face interaction, which is opposite to what is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with concerned about social interaction. Although the internet
indeed
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
concerned about the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of spending on the internet. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to manage and balance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between online and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay How do you prefer to be informed about the news and why? use specific reasons and details to support your choice. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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