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The country is a better place for the children to grow up than a large cities do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.1

The country is a better place for the children to grow up than a large cities v. 1
Due to the emergence of technology, we have online news portals besides the printed newspapers and it seems like anybody can be a journalist with a dot com website which puts an already questionable profession to more scrutiny and doubts. While trusting journalists and their reports, we should always verify the authenticity of the news and use our common sense. Without reading newspapers and watching the news, we will be unaware of the world around us and that's why newspapers are so important in our lives and play such a profound role in enhancing our knowledge. People who constantly work hard to bring that news and information to us are doing a tremendous job and they are often the reason we learn about corruptions, global crisis, updates on an important national issue and even learn the score of our favourite sports team. A responsible and honest journalist is like a soldier who fights a righteous battle to keep the citizens informed and eliminate corruptions and unjust from society. However, not all of them are true to their responsibilities and many of them put business and personal gains over ethics and responsibilities. When trusting a news report or a journalist, thus, we should always check the news source and the credibility of the reporter, especially in this era of modern technology where online news portals have grown and spread like mushrooms. Clickbait journalism and politically motivated news are constantly bombarding us with the help of social media and they have primarily one goal in mind - making money by playing with our emotions and political feelings. As informed readers, we must rely on authoritative newspapers and verify any news source before believing them. For example, I generally tend to believe the news I read on the BBC. Com but sometimes I also check the news on other sources just to on the safe side. Our common sense about news can be a big tool to filter out the fabricated news as we should read the truth, even if it is something we dislike rather than reading false news which is exactly what we want to hear or believe. To conclude, we have good journalists and bad journalists and it is our responsibility to be wary of non-authoritative news and not-so-credible journalists and use our senses to read important news which is based on facts and truth.
Due to the emergence of technology, we have online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
portals
besides
the printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and it seems like anybody can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalist
with a dot com website which puts an already questionable profession to more scrutiny and doubts. While trusting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
and their reports, we should always verify the authenticity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our common sense.

Without reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, we will be unaware of the world around us and that's why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and play such a profound role in enhancing our knowledge.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
constantly
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to bring that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and information to us are doing a tremendous
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job and
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the reason we learn about corruptions, global crisis, updates on an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
national issue and even learn the score of our
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
sports team. A responsible and honest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalist
is like a soldier who fights a righteous battle to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the citizens informed and eliminate corruptions and unjust from society.
However
, not all of them are true to their responsibilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them put business and personal gains over ethics and responsibilities.

When trusting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
report or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalist
,
thus
, we should always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
source and the credibility of the reporter,
especially
in this era of modern technology where online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
portals have grown and spread like mushrooms. Clickbait journalism and
politically
motivated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
constantly
bombarding us with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of social
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
media and
they have
primarily
one goal in mind
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
making money by playing with our emotions and political feelings. As informed readers, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
rely on authoritative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and verify any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
source
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
believing them.
For example
, I
generally
tend to believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
I read on the BBC. Com
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on other sources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to on the safe side. Our common sense about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
tool to filter out the fabricated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as we should read the truth, even if it is something we dislike
rather
than reading false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which is exactly what we want to hear or believe.

To conclude
, we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
and it is our responsibility to be wary of non-authoritative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and not-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-credible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
journalists
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our senses to read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which
is based
on facts and truth.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The country is a better place for the children to grow up than a large cities v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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