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he table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarize information and make comparison which relevant. v.1

he table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002.
It is observed that people have to face many critical issues both social and practical, when they migrate to overseas and are required to deal with a nonnative language. In my opinion, this notion can be accepted entirely as this creates a fragmented society and less productivity at work places. To begin with, living in a country, where people have to speak a foreign language can cause a serious social concern of isolation. In other words, the immigrants’ inability to handle the new dialect properly acts as a barrier in the communication with native speakers, which hinder the understanding of each other. This creates a disjointed society as strong communication is key in building relationships. For instance, as per a study conducted by the University of Melbourne in 2017, a vast majority of immigrants had experienced loneliness and isolation during the first five years of their life in the new land because of language issues. Similarly, this phenomenon has become a root cause for some practical issues as well. When people cannot communicate properly in the new language, their ability to share their experience and ideas at work tend to deteriorate. This brings down their productivity, which is largely detrimental to the progress of the company and the whole nation as well. To illustrate, according to a business research conducted in the UK in 2017, a large amount of money had been invested by UK firms to improve English skills of migrant staff, serious practical issues had been experienced by those companies in harnessing the knowledge expertise of such employees due to language barriers. To conclude, it is apparent that living in overseas, where people have to use a different language brings many social and practical challenges such as lack of community bonds and loss of productivity in work, which have negative effects for nations in the long run.
It
is observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
critical issues both social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
, when they migrate to overseas and
are required
to deal with a nonnative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. In my opinion, this notion can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
entirely
as this creates a fragmented society and less productivity at work places.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, living in a country, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
speak a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
can cause a serious social concern of isolation.
In other words
, the immigrants’ inability to handle the new dialect
properly
acts as a barrier in the communication with native speakers, which hinder the understanding of each other. This creates a disjointed society as strong communication is key in building relationships.
For instance
, as per a study conducted by the University of Melbourne in 2017, a vast majority of immigrants had experienced loneliness and isolation during the
first
five years of their life in the new land
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
issues.

Similarly
, this phenomenon has become a root cause for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
issues
as well
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot communicate
properly
in the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, their ability to share their experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
at work tend to deteriorate. This brings down their productivity, which is
largely
detrimental to the progress of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and the whole nation
as well
. To illustrate, according to a business research conducted in the UK in 2017, a large amount of money had
been invested
by UK firms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
English
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of migrant staff, serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
issues had
been experienced
by those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in harnessing the knowledge expertise of such employees due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barriers.

To conclude
, it is apparent that living in overseas, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
challenges such as lack of community bonds and loss of productivity in work, which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for nations in the long run.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay he table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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