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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion? v.7

Leisure time is always an inexplicable approach towards relaxation of mind and body. Some people prefer to enjoy their life with a small amount of money in order to get extra time for their personal development. However, some believe that it is the fundamental need of life in spite of having extra time for their own. Personally, I strongly advocate the former view. This essay will dilate on both sides using examples from the Indian government and the UK government to demonstrate points and prove arguments. On the one hand, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that people are struggling to get at the top in the cut-throat-competitive era which requires improvised skills at every walk of life. Whereas, people are failed to understand that with the monetary benefits, one needs some mental peace too. Driven by the need for higher income, it is gloomy to see people struggling daily, which can have major repercussions in the future. For example, recent scientific research by the Indian government demonstrated that 80% of people spend more time meeting the desired goals of their professional life, regardless, of your family responsibilities as well as their cognitive development. As a result, it is making them isolated and has a damaging effect on mental health as well as encourages a sedentary lifestyle. On the other hand, although there are significant downsides of having less money and more extra time, its’ multifold advantages cannot be denied. This is largely because a good amount of extra time can lead you to focus on your passion as well as broadening the horizon of knowledge. Moreover, this innovation can lead to intellectual benefits for both the person as well as the posterity. For example, a recent Uk government study showed that the following passion can – within the span of seconds – lead to the development of innovative ideas that can bring change in the creative thinking and ideation process. Such positivistic and innovative pondering in extra time clearly improves persons’ mental abilities and result in being the jack of all trades. To reiterate, I strongly feel that people should spare some extra time for their personal life and stress less about earning more money. Needless to say, if money could have bought all the happiness in today’s era, everyone would have been the happiest on this earth.
Leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is always an inexplicable approach towards relaxation of mind and body.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their personal development.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that it is the fundamental need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Personally
, I
strongly
advocate the former view. This essay will dilate on both sides using examples from the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to demonstrate points and prove arguments. On the one hand, there is ample, powerful, almost daily evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
at the top in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat-competitive era which requires
“requires improvised” is only accepted in certain dialects. For something more widely acceptable, consider “to be improvised”.
improvised
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at every walk of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Whereas,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are failed
to understand that with the monetary benefits, one needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mental peace too. Driven by the need for higher income, it is gloomy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
struggling daily, which can have major repercussions in the future.
For example
, recent scientific research by the Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
demonstrated that 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
meeting the desired goals of their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, regardless, of your family responsibilities as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as their cognitive development.
As a result
, it is making them isolated and has a damaging effect on mental health as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as encourages a sedentary lifestyle.

On the other hand
, although there are significant downsides of having less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
An apostrophe is never used to form possessive case pronouns. Did you mean: “its”?
its’
Possible spelling mistake found.
multifold
advantages cannot
be denied
. This is
largely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can lead you to focus on your passion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as broadening the horizon of knowledge.
Moreover
, this innovation can lead to intellectual benefits for both the person as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the posterity.
For example
, a recent
Did you mean “UK” (= United Kingdom)?
Uk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the following passion can
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
within the span of seconds
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
lead to the development of innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
that can bring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the creative thinking and ideation process. Such
Possible spelling mistake found.
positivistic
and innovative pondering in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
persons’ mental abilities and result in being the jack of all trades.

To reiterate, I
strongly
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spare
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
less about earning more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Needless to say, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
all the happiness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s era, everyone would have been the happiest on this earth.
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Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
390 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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