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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.16

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 16
It is thought by some people that for toddlers to be useful and contributing member of society, it is essential that their parents should impart good moral values in them. However, others hold the narrative that schools are responsible to make a child, a good member of society. In my opinion, the primary responsibility lies with parents to ensure that their children, when become adults, would be an affable, and contributing part of society. This essay will illustrate both the arguments. On the one hand, it is believed by some segments of society that the initial years of upbringing and how parents instill social values in their children are essential ingredients in shaping up their future and personality. It is no secret that parents are supposed to be the initial source of guidance for their children. Hence, it is imperative that parents should become good role models by instilling useful social and moral values supplemented by language skills. For instance, evidence suggests that children upbringing in the initial four years impacts their brain development, as they do tend to imitate habits of their parents and pick ideas during this phase. Therefore, parents should provide their children with an environment which promotes positivity. On the other hand, some people put forward the argument that schools are responsible for making children learn values important to become a good member of society. Rightly so, there is no denying that schooling plays a crucial role in determining the future of youngsters. Furthermore, children tend to be impulsive and their gullible nature makes them vulnerable to exploitation by their peers and senior school students. To cite an example, research conducted on criminals revealed a startling fact that a vast majority of convicts have imitated bad habits from their peers during school life and later on these negative instincts compelled them to commit crime and resort to unlawful activities. In conclusion, although school plays a vital role in making youngsters become a helping and positive member of society by ensuring that their peers and school fellows do not turn them to negative activities, i am of the opinion that major role is to be played by parents by raising and rearing them in an environment which encourages children to be generous and kind to others.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that for toddlers to be useful and contributing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, it is essential that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should impart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
moral values in them.
However
, others hold the narrative that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are responsible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a child, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. In my opinion, the primary responsibility lies with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
adults, would be an affable, and contributing part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This essay will illustrate both the arguments.

On the one hand, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
segments of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that the initial years of upbringing and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
instill social values in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are essential ingredients in shaping up their future and personality. It is no secret that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are supposed
to be the initial source of guidance for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Hence
, it is imperative that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
models by instilling useful social and moral values supplemented by language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, evidence suggests that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
upbringing in the initial four years impacts their brain development, as they do tend to imitate habits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and pick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
during this phase.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with an environment which promotes positivity.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
put forward the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are responsible for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Rightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, there is no denying that schooling plays a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in determining the future of youngsters.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
tend to be impulsive and their gullible nature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them vulnerable to exploitation by their peers and senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students. To cite an example, research conducted on criminals revealed a startling fact that a vast majority of convicts have imitated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits from their peers during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life and later on these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
instincts compelled them to commit crime and resort to unlawful activities.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
plays a vital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
in making youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a helping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by ensuring that their peers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fellows do not turn them to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
activities,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am of the opinion that major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
is to
be played
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
by raising and rearing them in an environment which encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be generous and kind to others.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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