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Having a good university degree guarantee people a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Having a good university degree guarantee people a good job. v. 2
It is thought by some that a certificate from a famous university provides people with good job opportunities, while in my opinion, it depends on what kind of jobs people want to find. On the one hand, a degree from a reputated university is a must for academic jobs, such as teachers, engineers, and scientists. Starting a career in these fields needs specialised knowledge background, which is essential to handle problems during working life. Furthermore, a good university degree is also a proof of better training gained before starting a career, making graduates qualified for academic jobs. For example, statistics from the National Analysing Bureau show that nearly 85% of employees in academic industry are graduated from top universities all over the world. On the other hand, one needs to get more experience to become excellent in some certain areas, such as doctors, laws, and artists. Working in these fields, people need to be more skillful and confident through practising over and over, which can be gained from their working experience. Furthermore, people may meet various kinds of problems in their working life, which cannot be included in textbooks. A physician, for example, needs at least ten years of working experience to master the basic skills and conduct an operation on his or her own. In conclusion, whether a degree can provide a good job or nor depends on the field one is involved in. Pursuing a good job in research may need a good educational background, while being an expert in some other areas may need working experience most.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that a certificate from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities, while in my opinion, it depends on what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to find.

On the one hand, a degree from a
Possible spelling mistake found.
reputated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, such as teachers, engineers, and scientists. Starting a career in these fields
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
knowledge background, which is essential to handle problems during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life.
Furthermore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
degree is
also
a proof of better training gained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting a career, making graduates qualified for academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For example
, statistics from the National
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
Bureau
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
nearly
85% of employees in academic industry
are graduated
from top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
all over the world.

On the other hand
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to become excellent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain areas, such as doctors, laws, and artists.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Working
in these fields,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be more skillful and confident through
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
over and over, which can
be gained
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
various kinds of problems in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
life, which cannot
be included
in textbooks. A physician,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
at least ten years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to master the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and conduct an operation on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

In conclusion
, whether a degree can provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or nor depends on the field one
is involved
in. Pursuing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in research may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
educational background, while being an expert in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other areas may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
most.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Having a good university degree guarantee people a good job. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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