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Happiness is generally considered to be the most important achievement in life. What exactly is happiness? How can people find happiness? v.1

Happiness is generally considered to be the most important achievement in life. What exactly is happiness? How can people find happiness? v. 1
Most people agree that happiness is one of the most important parts of a person’s life. This essay will explore the concept of happiness and discuss ways people can become happier. Happiness has several key elements. First of all, for people to be happy, they must also be content. Contentment is connected with many aspects of our lives such as our physical bodies, appearance, finances, careers and relationships. If a person is not satisfied with all of these aspects of life, they will be unable to say they are happy. Happiness is also closely connected to a particular state of mind. Sometimes people suffer depression not because of any tangible issue in their lives, but rather through a combination of unfortunate genetics or poor mental health. There are several ways that people can achieve a happy state of mind. Firstly, external factors that can be changed need to be dealt with. For example, by finding a job they love or getting out of a bad relationship, a positive state of mind will be easier to achieve. In addition, considering one’s own thinking process could help people to identify any bad thinking habits they may have fallen into. Doing this will give people the opportunity to get into the practice of thinking positively. In conclusion, contentment and thinking habits are the two primary factors that define happiness, and by changing the circumstances that are within our power while remembering to have a healthy mindset, a continued state of happiness can be achieved.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts of a person’s life. This essay will explore the concept of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
and discuss ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become happier.

Happiness has several key elements.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be happy, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
be content. Contentment
is connected
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
such as our physical bodies, appearance, finances, careers and relationships. If a person is not satisfied with all of these aspects of life, they will be unable to say they are happy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
is
also
closely
connected to a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of mind.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer depression not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of any tangible issue in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
through a combination of unfortunate genetics or poor mental health.

There are several ways that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can achieve a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of mind.
Firstly
, external factors that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
need to
be dealt
with.
For example
, by finding a job they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
or getting out of a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationship, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of mind will be easier to achieve.
In addition
, considering one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
process could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to identify any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
habits they may have fallen into. Doing this will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the practice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
positively
.

In conclusion
, contentment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
habits are the two primary factors that define
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
, and by changing the circumstances that are within our power while remembering to have a healthy mindset, a continued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
can
be achieved
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Happiness is generally considered to be the most important achievement in life. What exactly is happiness? How can people find happiness? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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