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Happiness is considered very important in life. v.25

Happiness is considered very important in life. v. 25
WHO defines health as ‘Physical, social and mental well-being’. It is a common misconception that absence of physical ailments makes us healthy and undermining the importance of mental and psychological aspects of health. Happiness broadly relates to the psychological well-being of an individual. Happiness though very important part of life, unfortunately, it is a relative term and poorly defined. It is also different for an individual. It may change from time to time.   For example, achieving a set financial goal makes a person happy, bur this may not be the same for other. For, a kid, a new toy makes him happy. Enjoying with friends, going on a vacation, clearing examination, new job, marriage, childbirth are some other examples of happiness at different stages of life. Thus every person defines happiness to his character and liking. There are many ways to achieve happiness. According to me, happiness is finding “Inner peace”. Regular physical exercises can help to gain happiness. This not only improves fitness but also gives a sense of well-being. Practising yoga and meditation will keep your soul satisfied and calm. Avoidance of addictions such as alcohol, cigarette, and other psychotropic drug are required for leading a happy life. Someone has quoted: ” If you play with your brain, the brain will play with you. ” these addictions make the person vulnerable to various diseases such as liver cirrhosis, lungs diseases and increases sufferings both physically and economically. Accepting the negative phases of life and searching happiness in every moment would be the best strategy to remain happy. Mingling with friends, sharing joy and worries would be another best way to reduce pain and increase happiness. I believe, even if the happiness is a relative term, the path of achieving it is common for all.
WHO defines health as ‘Physical, social and mental well-being’. It is a common misconception that absence of physical ailments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
us healthy and undermining the importance of mental and psychological aspects of health.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Happiness
broadly
relates to the psychological well-being of an individual.

Happiness though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, unfortunately, it is a relative term and
poorly
defined. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for an individual. It may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
from time to time.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
For example
, achieving a set financial goal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
, bur this may not be the same for other. For, a kid, a new toy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. Enjoying with friends, going on a vacation, clearing examination, new job, marriage, childbirth are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
every person defines
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
to his character and liking.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is finding “Inner peace”. Regular physical exercises can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
fitness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
gives a sense of well-being.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Practising' is British English.
Practising
yoga and meditation will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your soul satisfied and calm.

Avoidance of addictions such as alcohol, cigarette, and other psychotropic drug
are required
for leading a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Someone has quoted:
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
”
If you play with your brain, the brain will play with you. ” these addictions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the person vulnerable to various diseases such as liver cirrhosis, lungs diseases and increases sufferings both
physically
and
economically
.

Accepting the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
phases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
in every moment would be the best strategy to remain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
. Mingling with friends, sharing joy and worries would be another best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pain and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
. I believe, even if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is a relative term, the path of achieving it is common for all.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Happiness is considered very important in life. v. 25

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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