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Happiness is considered very important in life. why is is difficult to define? what factors are important in achieving it? v.14

Happiness is considered very important in life. why is is difficult to define? what factors are important in achieving it? v. 14
People hold different views about IT development, some claim that it might be has enormous bad influence in future. While others support this promotion as a global phenomenon. From my standpoint point, the both positions are partially right. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the operating system can be developed for a variety purposes, such as commercial and financial. The beneficial type of software is embedded which is used to control machines and devices also have own memory constraints. For instance, this system is easy for mass production and has a small size. Moreover, these types of spreadsheet are run on mobiles and tablets like we handle in our daily life. On the other hand, there is a guess that these colossal improvements can give to computers have an ability to control people's lives. Besides, even in recent days a lot of people complain to high tech software, due to the huge amount of crack phones, after which and private life. To exemplify, it is frequently noted that a lot of celebrities were hacked through these developed apps. Subsequently, modern technology might be used to hack government programs too. To conclude, on IT improvements is several favourable aspects as well as drawbacks. Although, software system continues getting better.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about IT development,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
claim that it might be
Consider using the past participle "had"?
has
enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. While others support this promotion as a global phenomenon. From my standpoint point, the both positions are
partially
right.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that the operating system can
be developed
for a variety purposes, such as commercial and financial. The beneficial type of software
is embedded
which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to control machines and devices
also
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
memory constraints.
For instance
, this system is easy for mass production and has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
size.
Moreover
, these types of spreadsheet
are run
on mobiles and tablets like we handle in our daily life.

On the other hand
, there is a guess that these colossal improvements can give to computers have an ability to control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Besides
, even in recent days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
complain to high tech software, due to the huge amount of crack phones, after which and private life. To exemplify, it is
frequently
noted that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
celebrities
were hacked
through these developed apps.
Subsequently
, modern technology might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to hack
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
programs too.

To conclude
, on IT improvements is several
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
aspects
as well
as drawbacks.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, software system continues getting better.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Happiness is considered very important in life. why is is difficult to define? what factors are important in achieving it? v. 14

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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