Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Graphs below provide the latest figure about the demographics of the US, including ethnical groups and the population, based on a census that was carried out and administered by US Census Bureau in 2006. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting v.1

Graphs below provide the latest figure about the demographics of the US, including ethnical groups and the population, based on a census that was carried out and administered by US Census Bureau in 2006.
Some claim that team sports such as football are more beneficial to players. Meanwhile, others hold a belief that sports that are played individually have superior advantages. In my opinion, both types of sports bring equal advantages On the one hand, by participating in team sport, we learn to collaborate with others. In sport fields, individual ambition takes second place to team objective. Every team member is working towards a common goal. To achieve this goal, cooperation and coordination are of the essence. Members must work as a team and achieve the maximum synergy even if that means someone has to make certain sacrifices. For instance, a cyclist may take the leading position for half of the game and then drop out so as to ensure the victory of his teammate. Or another case in point is that in football, a player may have to sacrifice the opportunity to score a goal to pass the ball to his team player if the chance of a goal being score is higher with his teammate. On the other hand, solo sports can bring players a number of benefits, one of which is the cultivation and maximization of personal capacities. To be precise, when being without the assistance of others, one has to exert himself to the utmost to come up with solutions to win, and this challenges his own limits. For example, in tennis, a player has to strategize his ball serves, predict where the ball falls and be agile in his movement, and he has to multi-task all these on his own. Besides, when doing sports individually, people are liberated from the constraint of rigidly following a previously agreed plan, thereby having the freedom to experiment on new ways of playing. Therefore, such players often have a high sense of satisfaction. In conclusion, each type of sports has its merits in cultivating players’ personality development. It should depend on each player as to what sports they should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as football are more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. Meanwhile, others hold a belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that
are played
individually
have superior advantages. In my opinion, both types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
bring equal
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
advantages


On the one hand, by participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, we learn to collaborate with others. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
fields, individual ambition takes second place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
objective. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
member is working towards a common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
. To achieve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
, cooperation and coordination are of the essence. Members
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
work as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and achieve the maximum synergy even if that means someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
certain sacrifices.
For instance
, a cyclist may take the leading position for half of the game and then drop out
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
ensure the victory of his teammate. Or another case in point is that in football, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sacrifice the opportunity to score a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
to pass the ball to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
if the chance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
being score is higher with his teammate.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
a number of benefits, one of which is the cultivation and maximization of personal capacities. To be precise, when being without the assistance of others, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
exert himself to the utmost to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with solutions to win, and this challenges his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
limits.
For example
, in tennis, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
strategize his ball serves, predict where the ball falls and be agile in his movement, and he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
multi-task all these on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Besides
, when doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
individually
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are liberated
from the constraint of
rigidly
following a previously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
plan, thereby having the freedom to experiment on new ways of playing.
Therefore
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have a high sense of satisfaction.

In conclusion
, each type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has its merits in cultivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players’
personality development. It should depend on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
as to what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
they should
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
do
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
We should learn languages because language is the only thing worth knowing even poorly.
Kató Lomb

IELTS essay Graphs below provide the latest figure about the demographics of the US, including ethnical groups and the population, based on a census that was carried out and administered by US Census Bureau in 2006.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
326 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts
  • 7band
    The figure gives information about smoking habits of the UK population by age.
    Modern world today, both parents are working for the financial stability of the family. It is sometimes argued that the present generation parents do not find enough time to attend their child needs. I completely agree with this statement because of the full-time working and the nuclear family syste...
  • 7band
    The diagrams below present the estimates and projections of world population from the US Census Bureau. v. 1
    It is popularly believed that social networking sites have a poor influence on both individual persons and society at large. I completely agree with the statement, as it has more drawbacks than positives, leading to a narcissistic frame of mind. Social networking sites promote a faster word of mout...
  • Change your language and you change your thoughts.
    Karl Albrecht
  • 7band
    The table above shows data on the demographics of four nations
    As a result of the growth of supermarkets in some countries, many local businesses have died out. Some people argue that without local business, local communities will cease to exist. Personally, I believe that even though the closure of regional enterprises poses a great threat to local communities...
  • 7band
    The figure gives information about smoking habit of the UK population by age
    These days, many employees are working from their home rather than from the office in order to have much more time for them. However, I believe that this trend has both positive and negative aspects. On the one hand, doing a job from home has many positive features in employees’ life. Firstly, most...
  • He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Recent posts