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Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists’ attention. Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home. v.1

Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists’ attention. Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home. v. 1
Investment in space research is often debated and people who are against this venture suggest that eradicating deadly diseases, educating children, fighting crime, hunger and corruption and improving people's lifestyle are far more important than searching for life on Mars. I believe that outer space research is quite important and totally justify the cost it involves. To begin with, the humankind always had problems on earth and a huge budget alone does not guarantee that we will be able to solve the crime, poverty, social discrimination and other pressing issues. To illustrate, some developed countries have better education facilities, lower unemployment rate and standard lifestyle and yet the crime rate is quite alarming in those countries. So diverting the budget from space research to the improvement of people's living style does not guarantee a result. Furthermore, only a handful advanced countries like the USA, the UK and Russia invest on outer space exploration. If they even stop the research, they are not going to give away the money to the poor nations. Moreover, we live in an era which is the gift if scientific inventions and research. Yet we have to go a long way to bring more innovations to the humankind. To better understand our life on earth, we have to explore further. A solid understanding of the planets around us would open unimaginable possibilities for us. Millions of dollars spent on finding the existence of 'life' on Mars might prove to be the wisest idea ever for the human. Who knows Mars might be the next planet for us to live on! To conclude, a large investment in the space research has not stopped countries from investing on our earth. The portion of the national budget by only a few countries to understand the universe we are a part of is quite reasonable towards the quantum leap towards the scientific improvements.
Investment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are against this venture suggest that eradicating deadly diseases, educating children, fighting crime, hunger and corruption and improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle are far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than searching for life on Mars. I believe that outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
totally
justify the cost it involves.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the humankind always had problems on earth and a huge budget alone does not guarantee that we will be able to solve the crime, poverty, social discrimination and other pressing issues. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have better education facilities, lower unemployment rate and standard lifestyle and
yet
the crime rate is quite alarming in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
diverting the budget from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
to the improvement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's living style does not guarantee a result.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a handful advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like the USA, the UK and Russia invest on outer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
exploration. If they even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, they are not going to give away the money to the poor nations.

Moreover
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an era which is the gift if scientific inventions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Yet
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go a long way to bring more innovations to the humankind. To better understand our life on earth, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
explore
further
. A solid understanding of
Consider using "the surrounding planets".
the planets around us
would open unimaginable possibilities for us. Millions of dollars spent on finding the existence of 'life' on Mars might prove to be the wisest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
ever for the human. Who knows Mars might be the
next
planet for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on!

To conclude
, a large investment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from investing on our earth. The portion of the national budget by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to understand the universe we are a part of is quite reasonable towards the quantum leap towards the scientific improvements.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Governments spend millions of dollars each year on their space programmes. Most recently, Mars is the focus of scientists’ attention. Some people think this money would be better spent on dealing with problems closer to home. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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