Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. Do you agree or disagree. v.1

Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. v. 1
Needless to say, pubic celebrations and history plays a vital role in each and everyone's life. Thus. high authorities invest large amount of money on public events. However, few individuals believe that the regime had better spend some funds of this money on other useful things. I agree with this perception and this essay will intend to delve on my point of views regarding this prospective in tje subsequent clauses. There are plethora of reasons behind this trend that why government spends a lot of money on public celebrations like national holidays and public festivals. To begin with, there are some dates which brings worth place in each and everyone's life as such dates are relatedto our history. To examplify, 15th august, 1945 is very vaulable date in our life because on that time, our country got freedom thanks to struggler as martyrs Bhagat Singh, Rajguru, Sukhdev, they sacrifice their lives for country. Furthermore, another important reason is that it is best way to spreading knowledge about history and cuture along with tradition among new generation celebrating public events like national holidays and pubic festivals, they may get knowledge about their past happenings which can help to them in order to associate with their history. Apart from this, they can gain knowledge about how our ancestors scrificed their lives for independence of our country. That is why, high authorities spend lion's share of money on public ceremonies. For instance, republic day, independence day and so on. Hence, having ruminated aforestation information, it can be concluded that though public festivals plays a paramount role in human'life but regime ought to invest some bucks on another purposes. According to my point of view, another useful purposes also play an important role in general public's life.
Needless to say,
Did you mean "public"?
pubic
celebrations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
plays a vital role in each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Thus
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
high
authorities invest large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
However
, few individuals believe that the regime had better spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on other useful things. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this perception and this essay will intend to delve on my point of views regarding this prospective in
Possible spelling mistake found.
tje
subsequent clauses.

There are plethora of reasons behind this trend that why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
celebrations like national holidays and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
festivals. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dates which brings worth place in each and
Did you mean "every one"?
everyone
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as such dates are
Possible spelling mistake found.
relatedto
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
examplify
, 15th
When specifying a month and year, the comma is unnecessary: "august 1945".
august, 1945
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
vaulable
date in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
on that time, our country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
freedom thanks to
Possible spelling mistake found.
struggler
as martyrs
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bhagat
Singh,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rajguru
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sukhdev
, they sacrifice their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for country.

Furthermore
, another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason is that it
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
way to spreading knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
cuture
along with tradition among new generation celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
like national holidays and
Did you mean "public"?
pubic
festivals, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about their past happenings which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to them in order to associate with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. Apart from this, they can gain knowledge about how our ancestors
Possible spelling mistake found.
scrificed
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for independence of our country.
That is
why, high authorities spend lion's share of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
ceremonies.
For instance
, republic day,
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
independence day
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

Hence
, having ruminated
Possible spelling mistake found.
aforestation
information, it can
be concluded
that though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
festivals plays a paramount role in human'life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
regime ought to invest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
bucks on another purposes. According to my point of view, another useful purposes
also
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
Consider using "public".
general public
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments spend a lot of money on public celebrations such as national holidays and public festivals. Some people say that the government spends too much on this and that they should use this money on other useful things. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts