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Governments should spend more money on railways than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.2

Governments should spend more money on railways than roads. with this statement. v. 2
In this present-world of technological advancements and intensive globalization, travelling far from home to the designated workplace by making use of either railways or roads, has become a norm. Under these circumstances, railways are awfully inexpensive and eco-friendly means of communication, but no one can deny the comfort and convenience of commuting by road. None of these facts can be taken lightly, thus, in my honest opinion, the governments should spend invariably equal proportions of money on both railways and roads. In the first case scenario, although the railway is cheap, it is not as convenient as cars because the trains are often late and the staff is usually lousy, which can cause the passengers severe distress and panic when they have to reach their destination on time. Also, ill-managed train timings can lead to overcrowding which increase the risk of theft and make the safety of passengers pretty questionable. For instance, the central railways in Mumbai are generally delayed by twenty minutes on an average which result in increasing cases of accidents of people from falling down the crowded trains. Therefore, it makes complete sense for the authorities to direct a decent amount of fortune towards the development of more railway tracks and incorporating a more productive staff for a proficient management of train-timings as well as effective crowd control. However, on the other hand, we have roads which make use of privately owned vehicles or cabs as a means of transport, which are undoubtedly more serviceable than trains, but impose a heavy tax on the environment. Roads with narrow corridors that have sustained damage, resulting in potholes, give rise to unnecessary obstructions and can provide a bumpy ride to the passengers, which can be dangerous for pregnant women. These traffic jams cause unwanted waste of time as well as have severe environmental repercussions, which involve an elevated amount of global warming and pollution. For example, the roads in Andheri have sustained quite a lot of damage, and are full of un-repaired potholes, giving rise to traffic jams that easily span more than over twenty minutes. Thus, it is imperative for the top brass to spend cash on roads for repairing and constructing ways with broader pathways for a smoother flow of traffic. In a nutshell, spending wealth on both railways and roads by the governments has become an overwhelming necessity so that, we as a community, can escape the nasty hazards of ill-managed means of communication, but at the same time, can also enjoy the fruits of commuting by either roads or railways.
In this present-world of technological advancements and intensive globalization, travelling far from home to the designated workplace by making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, has become a norm.
Under these circumstances
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are awfully inexpensive and eco-friendly means of communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no one can deny the comfort and convenience of commuting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. None of these facts can
be taken
lightly
,
thus
, in my honest opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend
invariably
equal proportions of money on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
and roads.

In the
first
case scenario, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
, it is not as convenient as cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
late and the staff is
usually
lousy, which can cause the passengers severe distress and panic when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
reach their destination on time.
Also
, ill-managed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
train
timings can lead to overcrowding which increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of theft and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the safety of passengers pretty questionable.
For instance
, the central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
in Mumbai are
generally
delayed by twenty minutes on an average which result in increasing cases of accidents of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from falling down the crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
complete sense for the authorities to direct a decent amount of fortune towards the development of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
and incorporating a more productive staff for a proficient management of train-timings
as well
as effective crowd control.

However
,
on the other hand
, we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
privately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
vehicles or cabs as a means of transport, which are
undoubtedly
more serviceable than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trains
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
impose a heavy tax on the environment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Roads
with narrow corridors that have sustained damage, resulting in potholes, give rise to unnecessary obstructions and can provide a bumpy ride to the passengers, which can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for pregnant women. These traffic jams cause unwanted waste of time
as well
as have severe environmental repercussions, which involve an elevated amount of global warming and pollution.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Andheri
have sustained quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
damage, and are full of
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-repaired
potholes, giving rise to traffic jams that
easily
span more than over twenty minutes.
Thus
, it is imperative for the top brass to spend cash on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
for repairing and constructing ways with broader pathways for a smoother flow of traffic.

In a nutshell, spending wealth on both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
has become an overwhelming necessity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that, we as a community, can escape the nasty hazards of ill-managed means of communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time, can
also
enjoy the fruits of commuting by either
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should spend more money on railways than roads. with this statement. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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