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Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.34

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 34
Transportation has been one of the big issues for humankind. Some people prefer to use public transportation and some of them prefer to use their self-car. In my view, having a good public transportation can encourage people to use public vehicles instead of their self-car. Therefore, investigating on railways is a good way to improve public transportation and persuading people to use it. First of all, spending more money on railroads can make less traffic. On the other hand, using self-car by each person make heavy traffic. Governments should find ways to improve the quality of countries. One of the best ways to increase the quality of life in each city is light traffic. For instance, my husband has been in the related situation two years before. He had two job offer in two different cities. One of them was in San Marcos California and one of them was in Bentonville Arkansas. He has confused in that period of time. Finally he talked to someone who has lived in both states. He told my husband: California' s cities are crazy, but Arkansas has some small cities and there is no traffic. My husband is a traffic freak, so he decided to accept the job offer in Arkansas. Second of all, expanding the public transportation can help to have a clear sky and non polluted air for breathing. Clean air is a really important advantage in each region. Government can make it easy by paying more attention to the railroads and spend more money to expand the railways. Finally, the rate of murder by accident is going to decrease by more using of public transportation. Nowadays people are going to buy new models cars and use the highest speed in roads. It can make the roads dangerous. To sum up, government can have a big effect on humans' life by planning to spend the budget in a right way and in public transportation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Transportation
has been one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issues for humankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their self-car. In my view, having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles
instead
of their self-car.
Therefore
, investigating on railways is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, spending more money on railroads can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
On the other hand
, using self-car by each person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
should find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of countries. One of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to increase the quality of life in each city is light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
.
For instance
, my husband has been in the related situation two years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. He had
The expression 'two job' seems incorrect in this context.
two job
Possible agreement error. The noun 'offer' seems to be countable, so consider using: "offers".
offer
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. One of them was in San Marcos California and one of them was in Bentonville Arkansas. He has confused in that period of time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
he talked to someone who has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in both states. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
my husband:
Possible spelling mistake found.
California&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are crazy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Arkansas has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. My husband is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
freak,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he decided to accept the job offer in Arkansas.

Second of all, expanding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
sky and
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non polluted
air for breathing. Clean air is a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
advantage in each region.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it easy by paying more attention to the railroads and spend more money to expand the railways.

Finally
, the rate of murder by accident is going to decrease by more using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new models cars and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the highest speed in roads. It can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the roads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

To sum up,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
effect on
Possible spelling mistake found.
humans&
#039; life by planning to spend the budget in a right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
and in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 34

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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