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Governments should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Governments should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. v. 2
Over the past decades, environmental problem has never ceased to draw public attention and provoke debates. Although governments have been spending magnificence effort to tackle with it, the issue as to whether people should take almost responsibility for their local environment or not remain controversial. From my own perspective this approach would be very shortsighted view following the reason below. On the one hands, it is important to recognize that the chef culprit of air pollution is the rapid growth of manufactory industry. In fact, the pollutants from industries which are discharged into atmosphere have to be accountable for the reducing of air condition. this problem seem likely too big to individuals to solve, so that, governments should play an irreplaceable role in order to minimizing it. if authorities could control the emission and impose environmental friendly materials into factories, I believe that environmental problems should be addressed in short time. On the other hand, some may argue that the contribution of residents is also necessary. this argument could be true to some extent because individuals should play significant role toward the safety of environmental by simple actions such as not using the enormous of plastic which would damage natural behaviors, in daily life. Moreover, it is undeniable that gas emission from transportation is one of the producer of carbon dioxide. so that, if people could change their travelling habits, this issue could be more acceptable. For example, in some countries like Japan, people prefer consuming public transport which use eco-friendly energy such as electric or solid rather than private vehicles. As a result, the local air conditions have been significantly improving. this example indicates that the attitude of resident to environmental protecting should never be underestimated. In conclusion, making people be responsible for environmental problem is paramount important. However, the comprehensive solution needs the combination of both governments and residents as mentioned above
Over the past decades,
environmental
problem
has never ceased to draw public attention and provoke debates. Although
governments
have been spending magnificence effort to tackle with it, the issue
as to whether
people
should take almost responsibility for their local environment or not remain controversial. From my
own
perspective this approach would be
very
shortsighted view following the reason below.

On the one hands, it is
important
to recognize that the chef culprit of air pollution is the rapid growth of
manufactory
industry. In fact, the pollutants from industries which
are discharged
into atmosphere
have to
be accountable for the reducing of air condition. this
problem
seem likely too
big
to individuals to solve,
so
that,
governments
should play an irreplaceable role in order to
minimizing
it. if authorities could control the emission and impose
environmental
friendly materials into factories, I believe that
environmental
problems
should
be addressed
in short time.

On the other hand
,
some
may argue that the contribution of residents is
also
necessary.
this
argument could be true to
some
extent
because
individuals should play significant role toward the safety of
environmental
by simple actions such as not using
the enormous of
plastic which would damage natural behaviors, in daily life.
Moreover
, it is undeniable that gas emission from transportation is one of the producer of carbon dioxide.
so
that, if
people
could
change
their travelling habits, this issue could be more acceptable.
For example
, in
some
countries like Japan,
people
prefer consuming public transport which
use
eco-friendly energy such as electric or solid
rather
than private vehicles.
As a result
, the local air conditions have been
significantly
improving.
this
example indicates that the attitude of resident to
environmental
protecting should never
be underestimated
.

In conclusion
, making
people
be responsible for
environmental
problem
is paramount
important
.
However
, the comprehensive solution needs the combination of both
governments
and residents as mentioned above
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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