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Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.5

Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. v. 5
With the advent of technology such as the internet in the 20th century, it has opened up numerous horizons for research. The financial support for these upcoming developments is being done by the two major groups, namely, the public authorities or private organizations. Some of the critics assert that to proliferate the scientific analysis, the funding should be done by both private and public authorities, however, I strongly agree that to foster such delicate work the money should be provided by the governments only, because, these inventions in some way are connected with the security of mankind. Firstly, the most prominent reason is that nowadays, any analysis done is related to aspects such as medical, defense, so the outcome of these researches should be beneficial to society. In other words, the private companies can keep secrets on the real outcomes, so that they can modulate the results to generate more money and to satiate their private vested interests. Ranbaxy a medical firm, for instance, has developed medicine for dengue, which is a deadly disease, they price it on their own and local bodies cannot control them. Moreover, if the government does not provide any financial support for the advanced studies in labs, then the secrets related to top projects can be leaked to the other countries and this can jeopardize the nation's security. Secondly, one of the obvious reasons is that unlike the individual firms, the government can provide the enormous funds required for the most accurate results. The scientific studies require patience and time, as the outcome of an experiment can be a failure as well, so it is the union that can provide plentiful funds to continue the work. The ISRO, for example, a space agency in India is funded by the government of India, the failed missions will generate huge losses, only the public authorities can bear. Furthermore, if private companies think that their research team is not giving time-bound outcome they will stop the lab tasks. But on the other hand, even if failed, the scientists are being backed by the government, consequently, they work with more zeal and energy to deliver successful results. To conclude, the financial backing of the governments can provide job security to an individual and social security to the nation. It is imperative considering the safety interest of a country, the roles of a private company should be limited in crucial researches.
With the advent of technology such as the internet in the 20th century, it has opened up numerous horizons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. The financial support for these upcoming developments is
being done
by the two major groups,
namely
, the public authorities or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
organizations.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
critics assert that to proliferate the scientific analysis, the funding should
be done
by both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and public authorities,
however
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that to foster such delicate work the money should
be provided
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, these inventions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "ways"?
way
are connected
with the security of mankind.

Firstly
, the most prominent reason is that nowadays, any analysis done
is related
to aspects such as medical, defense,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcome
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
should be beneficial to society.
In other words
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
secrets on the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcomes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can modulate the results to generate more money and to satiate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
vested interests.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ranbaxy
a medical firm,
for instance
, has developed medicine for dengue, which is a deadly disease, they price it on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and local bodies cannot control them.
Moreover
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
any financial support for the advanced studies in labs, then the secrets related to top projects can
be leaked
to the other countries and this can jeopardize the nation's security.

Secondly
, one of the obvious reasons is that unlike the individual firms, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the enormous funds required for the most accurate results. The scientific studies require patience and time, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcome
of an experiment can be a failure
as well
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is the union that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
plentiful funds to continue the work. The ISRO,
for example
, a space agency in India
is funded
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of India, the failed missions will generate huge losses,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the public authorities can bear.
Furthermore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
team is not giving time-bound
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outcome
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the lab tasks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the other hand
, even if failed, the scientists are
being backed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
consequently
, they work with more zeal and energy to deliver successful results.

To conclude
, the financial backing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
job security to an individual and social security to the nation. It is imperative considering the safety interest of a country, the roles of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
should
be limited
in crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments should be responsible for funding and controlling scientific research rather than private organizations. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
401 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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