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Governments prohibit the underage children for getting full-time jobs in certain countries. Is it good thing or bad thing? v.1

Governments prohibit the underage children for getting full-time jobs in certain countries. Is it good thing or bad thing? v. 1
Nowadays, using children’s power for full-time jobs is forbidden in some counties. In my opinion, it is positive development because the youth should go to school and have fulfilled childhood. It is true that companies were using the youth as workforce throughout a history. It was not surprising that teenagers could work whole shift among adults on a factory. It may happened because families were huge and parents were not able to breed them on their own. Even today, some people may argue that the government should let children to get full-time work otherwise they could stuff to death. This is may be true for those countries where the most amount of population live below the poverty line. However, there are some nations where child’s labor is violation of the law and children can get only part-time jobs if it will not interact with their schooling. From my perspective, it has several advantages because due to that, adults became more concern about upbringing and families became less in size. Along with it, the governments take responsibility to educate children and give them proper childhood. For instance, everyone in our country finished school because if a child did not went to school, his parents would be penalized or even deprived of parental rights. In conclusion, prohibiting to underage children from getting full-time jobs in some countries seems as necessary measure and actually ensures the right of children for getting education.
Nowadays, using
children’s
power for full-time jobs
is forbidden
in
some
counties. In my opinion, it is
positive
development
because
the youth should go to school and have fulfilled childhood.

It is true that
companies
were using the youth as workforce throughout a history. It was not surprising that
teenagers
could work whole shift among adults on a factory.
It
may
happened
because
families were huge and parents were not able to breed them on their
own
. Even
today
,
some
people
may argue that the
government
should
let
children
to
get
full-time work
otherwise
they could stuff to death. This is may be true for those countries where the most amount of population
live
below the poverty line.

However
, there are
some
nations where child’s labor is violation of the law and
children
can
get
only
part-time jobs if it will not interact with their schooling. From my perspective, it has several advantages
because
due to that, adults became more concern about upbringing and families became
less in size
. Along with it, the
governments
take responsibility to educate
children
and give them proper childhood.
For instance
, everyone in our country finished school
because
if a child did not
went
to school, his parents would
be penalized
or even deprived of parental rights.

In conclusion
, prohibiting to underage
children
from getting full-time jobs in
some
countries seems as necessary measure and actually ensures the right of
children
for getting education.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Governments prohibit the underage children for getting full-time jobs in certain countries. Is it good thing or bad thing? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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