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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Many schools for young children (ages 5-11) require students to work together in small groups instead of working alone for many of their activities. Use reasons and examples to support your answer. v.480

Many schools for young children (ages 5-11) require students to work together in small groups instead of working alone for many of their activities. Use reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 480
The question is whether schools should require young children to work in small groups instead of acting alone or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement; however, I am inclined to affirm that being in a group will provide a huge number of merits for the young in ages 5-11. I feel this way for some reason, which I will explore them in following essay to empower my vantage point: To begin with, nobody could overlook this fact that children can be confused in confronting with school ambient, since they have to leave their play world and enter to an educational atmosphere. In first glance, the young may find a sense of stress, annoying and numb; hence, such a condition would affect their performance. Yet, one should not forget that being in small groups is able to assist children to improve their abilities. For instance, it may be tedious for a child to solve a math question; however, through collaboration and consulting with other students, this mentioned monotonous circumstance will become a competitive and exiting situation. In other word, every child will attempt to tender a new solution, therefore, a group can conclude quickly about assignments compared with a solitary child. In short, several thoughts will act better than one. The second reason for my argument lies the fact that groups play a crucial role in forming children' s personality. Needless to say that when the young start school, they usually wrestle with a wide range of pressures due to being far away their family; consequently, such the pressures can jeopardize improving their character. To elucidate, take my own brother' s experience. Since he was a sensitive person and dependent to my mother, so going to school and being alone there, could harm his social behavior. While if his school had provided a law for working in the groups, he would have communicated with other students for optimizing their relationships. Briefly, a group can help students to make new friendships and boost their self-esteem. It goes without saying that a person with high self-confidence is able to guarantee their future. To sum up, this conclusion could be drawn that I strongly believe that groups will cause the young foster a great number of advantages in themselves such as making new friends and improving social relationships, learning teamwork and collaborating with others and list goes on.
The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to work in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
instead
of acting alone or not. Everyone with regard to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement;
however
, I
am inclined
to affirm that being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
will provide a huge number of merits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
in ages 5-11. I feel this way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason, which I will explore them in following essay to empower my vantage point:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nobody could overlook this fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be confused
in confronting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
ambient, since they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their play world and enter to an educational atmosphere. In
first
glance, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
may find a sense of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, annoying and numb;
hence
, such a condition would affect their performance.
Yet
, one should not forget that being in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
is able to assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their abilities.
For instance
, it may be tedious for a child to solve a math question;
however
, through collaboration and consulting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students, this mentioned monotonous circumstance will become a competitive and exiting situation. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word, every child will attempt to tender a new solution,
therefore
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can conclude
quickly
about assignments compared with a solitary child. In short, several thoughts will act better than one.

The second reason for my argument lies the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
play a crucial role in forming
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s personality. Needless to say that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they
usually
wrestle with a wide range of pressures due to being far away their family;
consequently
, such the pressures can jeopardize improving their character. To elucidate, take my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
brother&
#039; s experience. Since he was a sensitive person and dependent to my mother,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and being alone there, could harm his social behavior. While if his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
had provided a law for working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, he would have communicated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
students for optimizing their relationships.
Briefly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friendships and boost their self-esteem. It goes without saying that a person with high self-confidence is able to guarantee their future.

To sum up, this conclusion could
be drawn
that I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
will cause the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
foster a great number of advantages in themselves such as making new friends and improving social relationships, learning teamwork and collaborating with others and list goes on.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many schools for young children (ages 5-11) require students to work together in small groups instead of working alone for many of their activities. Use reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 480

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
405 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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