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Government around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. v.1

Government around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. v. 1
Growing up with the invention of advance technologies, including space research consume huge amount of money by the help nation's economy. Instead of focusing on those studies, government should be conscious and invest regarding the fitness need of the citizens. It seems that, health is out and out important thing than any other in order to contribute their country. What if the disease spreads world-wide by the lack of proper research on disease? The basic need is mandatory for every individual. In many countries, particularly developing and underdeveloped countries, people face numerous obstacles by the lack of primary needs; education, health and so on. If the government lunch well-being education programs, medical survey, disease control and prevention, including free health camp rather than wasting cash on space experiments, then it would be far better in order to meet the goal and objectives of providing those needs. One's can only able to contribute their nation only if he or she achieve their basic health need. Furthermore, through spending money on epidemiological investigation and epidemiological research laboratory plays significant role in terms of preventing disease epidemics and pandemic. Once the malady spread globally then it leads to destroy whole nations. If we already implement those mentioned things through concerning with relevant authorized governmental agencies then we can able to save thousand of live by determining specific equipments which needs immediately after condition occurrence. In addition, for doing space program needs huge amount which poor countries cannot afford. It seems too luxuriant and needed highly skilled person. But there are only few countries which can able to produce a person with the required ability to do space experiments. Moreover, some countries are too insufficient to lunch college, university related to space program due to poor economic situation. However, investing money on space related programs would help our next generation through inventing new technologies. But for now, the most needed and precious things is our health. To sum up, although spending cash on space programs probably assists our coming generations in the future, but basic needs, controlling disease occurrence and maintaining economic crisis of a country are the most important factors to lead the whole country to become developed and independent.
Growing up with the invention of advance technologies, including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research consume huge amount of money by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
nation's economy.
Instead
of focusing on those studies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be conscious and invest regarding the fitness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of the citizens. It seems that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
out and out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing than any other in order to contribute their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. What if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
spreads world-wide by the lack of proper research on disease?

The basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
is mandatory for every individual. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
particularly
developing and underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
face numerous obstacles by the lack of primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
; education,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
lunch well-being education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, medical survey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
control and prevention, including free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
camp
rather
than wasting cash on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
experiments, then it would be far better in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the goal and objectives of providing those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. One's can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
able to contribute their nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "achieves", "achieved".
achieve
their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
need.

Furthermore
, through spending money on epidemiological investigation and epidemiological research laboratory plays significant role in terms of preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
epidemics and pandemic.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
the malady spread globally then it leads to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
whole nations. If we already implement those mentioned things through concerning with relevant authorized governmental agencies then we
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
save
Use "a thousand" or use a number before 'thousand'.
thousand
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
by determining specific equipments which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
immediately after condition occurrence.

In addition
, for doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
huge amount which poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
cannot afford. It seems too luxuriant and needed
highly
skilled person.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
produce a person with the required ability to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
experiments.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are too insufficient to lunch college, university related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
due to poor economic situation.
However
, investing money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
our
next
generation through inventing new technologies.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, the most needed and precious things is our health.

To sum up, although spending cash on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
probably
assists our coming generations in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
occurrence and maintaining economic crisis of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors to lead the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to become developed and independent.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Government around the world are spending billions in support of space programs. This money would be better spent on research into improvements in human health. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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